Guest post by Sylvia Puentos

To me, the word failure is highly charged and disturbingly absolute. To fail means that you are wrong; that you are inadequate, incompetent or ‘not enough’. A 2014 study found that 70% of parents feel judged regularly by others around them, including by strangers. As yet, there are no statistics on how many of us judge ourselves, nor how often we turn our criticism inward because of some perceived lack of parenting ability.

We, as a society, have created a false ideal around raising children; we have come to believe that there are set guidelines to being an effective parent. That there is a ‘right’ way. According to this learned limitation, if we can simply recognize where we are failing in our role as a parent (or if we are told by others) then we can find ways to fix it.

But what if it doesn’t have to be this way? What if we were willing to confront the idea that failure doesn’t actually exist?

Failure is a fabrication of society and it is built around an ever-changing set of ideals. (That which was regarded as good parenting a century ago may be maligned today, and vice versa.) When we buy into failure it sticks with us and it creates a vortex of wrongness. Just like digging a hole, it is easy to fall so deep into a spiral of judgement and perceived failure that it is almost impossible to climb back out.

One of the most important things we can understand as parents is that our offspring learn how to ‘be’ in this world, through observation and example. When children observe their parents struggling with the rightness and wrongness of their role – when they watch mothers and/or fathers succumb to judgement from self and others – they, too, learn to approach life in this way.

It is in this way – by mimicking the behaviors of their parents – that children learn to judge themselves as ‘wrong’ or ‘a failure’ when they make a not-so-good choice or decision.

But what if we could learn to function as parents (and role models) from a place of allowance and kindness toward ourselves? What if, instead of measuring our choices and behaviours against a social ideal, we came to view parenting as an exploration. In this way, poor choices are not failings on our behalf – they are opportunities to learn more about what we would like our life (or our relationship with our children) to look like, and what we would like to change.

Parenting as an exploration

When we accept that parenting is an exploration, we remove any concept of success or failure. An explorer has not failed if their trekking brings them to an impassable river. It is simply a sign that the current direction is not working; they will need to adjust to venture further. So it is with parenting.

From this space, one of consideration and allowance, we become more open to the actual needs of our children. Specifically, without the fear of perceived failure, it is easier to choose:

Are you willing to be a bad parent? Are you willing to choose what you feel is best for you and your family, despite what social expectations may dictate?

Are you willing to be vulnerable in front of your children? Are you willing to see your child’s contribution to the family as equal to your own? Are you willing to empower them by asking questions?

Are you willing to listen to your children? Parents often talk too much and many press their own perspective – what is right, wrong or acceptable – onto the child without any acknowledgment of the child’s awareness.

Are you willing to give your child whatever space they require, even if they choose silence? Often all that is required for a child to find solutions to their challenges is the space to explore their own perspective and capabilities. What if as a parent, you made sure to say “You’re an amazing being and you are gift to the world?”

When we, as parents, are willing to step into a kinder and more accepting view of ourselves, we offer an incredible gift to our children: the ability to live, learn, explore, strive and fall without ever judging themselves as wrong, inadequate or a failure.

Five questions you can ask when you feel like you have failed:

1. According to who am I failing?
2. Where did I buy the notion that I have to be perfect?
3. What if I have been doing the best I can, with the tools I have?
4. What’s right about me I’m not getting?
5. What is it that I know that is best for my child/family that I haven’t acknowledged?

About Sylvia Puentes: As an Author, Certified Facilitator of Access Consciousness®, Right Voice For You® Facilitator, Educator Empowerment Coach, International Speaker and Trainer, Sylvia Puentes contributes to people of all ages by sharing tools and techniques that can transform any area of life. Her work also includes courses in Public Speaking, Leadership and Employee engagement. Her kind presences creates a space of ease in working with individuals and groups to clear limitations and open the door to endless possibilities.   

We need to understand that by looking after ourselves we feel more valued and we create a deeper sense of connection to ourselves, our families and the world.  

There are many simple ways we can take a break from the demands of the day and some of my personal favourites are:

• exercising
• committing to at least 15 minutes of quiet time each day,
• asking for help (hard one!)
• catching up with girlfriends frequently

While it may not be an obvious choice, fashion is another one of my favourite and fun methods of self-care! After all, what we wear not only surrounds and protects us, enhances our features and expresses our personality.

I have to admit though, getting dressed for the day can become confusing and burdensome especially when one minute you are at a netball game or on the sidelines of a 50 over cricket game, and the next at a dinner with your girlfriends in a gorgeous Sydney restaurant. The change of season also throws me and I find a closet clean-out clears the decks for the new season and breathes fresh air into my wardrobe, allowing space for some new and necessary pieces.

Cue stylists, Jocaliving, dynamic duo extraordinaire, besties and mums, inspiring women everywhere to put their best foot forward. The time and money saved by hiring a stylist twice a year (summer and winter) is invaluable to me and this is why…

• they help me cull my wardrobe of clothes which no longer serve me (these end up with friends and family or St Vincent de Paul)
• they are experts in optimising and transforming what already exists in my wardrobe by styling endless fresh looks to take me from rugby to rooftop bar
• they make an inventory of items I need to buy which  make dressing easier and allow me to get the most out of my wardrobe
• they save me money on new purchases
• they save me the agony of looking through racks of clothes when I have kids to pick up from school in an hour! 
• they help me feel confident every time I step out the door

Make sure you take a look at Jocaliving’s special offers at the end of this post

Below I document my two sessions with Jocaliving.

Part 1: Culling and Styling with what was already in my wardrobe

I had a specific brief for my wardrobe cull/styling session. I needed to focus on casual but smart winter looks to take me from shopping, to lunch with the girls, and the sidelines of my kids sport. I had dinner with the hubby that night so the last look was for that purpose : )

Here are 10 of my favourite looks from our session. I’ve been wearing these looks TO DEATH!  You will notice Jocaliving rotated and mixed and matched lots of my clothes and accessories, which means with just some simple tweaks, I stay feeling fresh in all my different looks. I also love that I can just go to my photos on my phone for reference if I’m ever feeling stuck to get dressed.

Here’s another comfortable and adaptable look which the girls styled live on Facebook on the day of our session.

Part 2: Filling in the Gaps with a Shopping Styling Session

During our ‘cull and style’ home session, Jocaliving made a list of missing items which I needed to make my wardrobe gel, allowing more flexibility to use more of what was already in there. Things like jewellery, belts, shoes and bags were the crucial missing elements. Plus, some staples which are on the Jocaliving (JL) ‘MUST HAVE’ winter staples list (find out how to get a copy of this cheat sheet below!). I also wanted some dressier looks to take me to events, book launches, or out to lunch and dinner. I am madly in love with all the pieces they found, all on sale I might add, and all I can see myself wearing for years on end.

Here are just a few of the looks they threw together for me.

Look 1: I love this grey knit dress, it can be worn a bit more casual with the boots and cross over bag for lunch, or dressed up with the heel and clutch for night. I’m thinking I might wear this to an evening event I’m attending for my husbands work at the Art Gallery of NSW.

Look 2: Also on their ‘JL MUST HAVES’ is this  long vest and waxy black jeans. I just popped on a warm knit with cut out shoulders underneath (you can see the jumper better in Look 6) and voila, ready for lunch with the girls, or a cook book launch or event.

Look 3: “JL MUST HAVE” winter knit with gold necklace (which is actually a belt- love the versatility!) and nude heels. I’ll wear this one with a long sleeve underneath, it’s great that I can wear it both ways. I’ll throw my black cape over this one and off to dinner I’ll go!

Look 4: I love this look and I’m planning on wearing it to a food product evening event in the city next week. Notice the necklace, leather jacket from my casual looks and waxy black jeans make an appearance again.

Look 5: Crisp white and neutrals are lovely in winter, teamed with my leather jacket for warmth, I’d take this one out to breakfast with the flats (can’t stop wearing them!), or lunch with the heels. Love my new ‘JL MUST HAVE’ crossover bag and white jeans.

Look 6: “JC MUST HAVE’ black knit dress with earrings, rope belt, bag and heels, throw on my charcoal or black cape and I’m ready for dinner with my man!

Look 7: A repeat of the white jeans and cross over bag, teamed with new top and denim jacket. Can be made casual or dressy depending on bag and shoe. Must say, this is probably better for early Winter, or warmer Winter’s day, or the cusp of Winter and Spring.

Look 8: I’m dressing up again with “JC MUST HAVE’ knitted jumper (I love a cut out), teamed with a skirt we found at a bargain price.  I’ll throw a cape or coat over my shoulders again before heading out for the night.

So, whaddya think?

Now for the exciting special offers!!! Yes, you can have both!

Special Offer #1:

In the comments below, let me know your favourite look from Part 2, and head over to Jocaliving and like their instagram page, to receive a FREE copy of the Jocaliving ‘MUST HAVE WINTER STAPLES’ cheat-sheet which they created especially and exclusively for followers and fans of this page.

Special Offer #2:

Jo and Carolyne from Jocaliving have kindly offered the first 5 women who email me, a personal home and cull styling session OR shopping styling session for 25% off the full price! They are already worth their weight in gold at $400 for a day, but $300 is just ridiculous to have these gals come in and sort you out and make dressing for each day a breeze! You can email me at brenda@brendajanschek.com

NB: This offer is only for those who are Sydney based and live a maximum of 20 kms from the CBD.

Good luck!

Bren x

When I got up this morning, my husband had already left for work.

The dishes were still sitting in the dishwasher.

The clothes in the washing basket hadn’t folded themselves.

None of the overflowing bins had been emptied.

The kids weren’t offering to help me with the morning chores.

And I could deal with all that.

Until my son gave me some lip .. which saw me walking off and sulking to the other room.

Birthday, schmurfday.

My daughter came in to check if I was all right and give me a hug and a kiss.

While I was walking her to school I received a text from my son ” Have a good birthday”.

I mentioned to me daughter ” He could have said I’m sorry”

She said: “Maybe that was his way of saying sorry”

Wise, comforting, beautiful words from my 10yr old girl, which filled my heart with love.

Words which turned out to be best birthday gift I could receive.

Words which made me know that I was doing ok at raising emphatic, kind, thoughtful children. They are far from perfect, trust me, but it’s times like these when you see glimpses of the beauty that lies within them and a reflection of the things you are getting right.

Birthday’s always make me introspective. Make me stop and observe where I’m at, where I’m headed, exactly who I am. 

My daughter’s words showed me the type of mother I am. Showed me what is most important to me in life. It’s not something I can honestly say I had contemplated before.

See, when it comes to parenting, I don’t focus the kids on what they will do in the future, or who they will be. For me, success is not defined by working hard to ‘get the right job’ and make a lot of money…

Emotional intelligence is where it’s at for me. Success is defined by kindness, empathy, sensitivity. All the while remembering and accepting that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes. We’re all doing our best. What’s important is it learn from those mistakes. Remembering also, that no two people are the same and it’s important to leave room for that. This is the message I am instilling in my kids.

“Have a good birthday” – was my son’s way of saying sorry. I wasn’t in a place to see it that way. My daughter saw things from both sides, that moment of empathy helped me through and made my day.

So that’s enough contemplation for one day. It’s time for me to jig work and treat myself to an hour long relaxing facial. 

The day is turning out perfectly after all.

Bren x

 In this uplifting book Melissa provides a blueprint to help us overcome the challenges our ego constantly throws up and create our own version of a “kick-ass life”.

Please watch my interview with Melissa and enjoy the gold nuggets she shares.

You can connect with Melissa here:

Website
Facebook
Instagram

The reality is, kids need to feel connected, to feel part of a group, to feel loved. But it doesn’t always work out this way. We assume friendship comes naturally to kids. But it isn’t always the case.

Studies show that children who have friends are more likely to be self-confident and perform better academically at school than those without friends. It’s also a determining factor in the future happiness of our children. When children have difficulty making friends or keeping them, it often leads to feelings of loneliness and unhappiness. Regular rejection isn’t easy. Just ask any actor!

Teaching my kids about friendship has sometimes been painful for me. Things haven’t always gone smoothly for them, and they have often felt lost and empty. It can break a parent’s heart.

It’s very confusing for children who try to figure out why they aren’t fitting in. And as a parent it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to find the answer, but from experience, you can search till the cows come home, but there may not be any concrete reasons.

So what can we do as parents when our children asks us:

What have I done so that others don’t like me?
Why does ‘so and so’ always get up and move when I sit next them?
Why am I always picked last for the team?
Why aren’t I invited over to anyone’s place?

These can be tough questions to answer but guiding our children on some skills like empathy, problem-solving, negotiating, cooperation and communication can definitely help them socially, but I believe it’s important not to focus on what they may be “doing wrong” but rather guide them towards believing in themselves and celebrating who they are. Help them to understand the differences which exist between all humans and that while everyone wants to “fit”, sometimes it can take time to find even one true friend.

Let your children know that the world is full of thousands of people and that one day they will find a friend who-

• loves them for who they are
• connects with their soul
• brings out the best in them
• unconditionally accepts them for who they are
• laughs at all their jokes (good and bad!)
• forgives them when they let them down
• shares their dreams and beliefs
• sticks up for them
• trusts them with their secrets and feelings
• makes them feel like an equal
• and loves being around the light that they shine out into the world and which they should never, ever try to dim as thats what makes them special,wonderful and loveable

I am personally blessed with some of the best friends a girl could have.  No matter how much time passes, or how infrequently we get to connect in this busy life, whatever I may be going through, they make me feel special, important, always welcome, and always loved. These same relationships have their highs and lows and can be painful at times, that’s life, but ultimately they are steadfast and true.

I take faith in knowing that one day this will happen for my kids too.

Have your children had issues with fitting in? How have you chosen to address it? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Bren x

This month it is very much the opposite – a celebration of the many benefits of community, social connection and friendship, something we naturally crave as human beings, and which I try to encourage my kids to seek out. And I’ll tell you now, it’s far more satisfying and uplifting than any game of Minecraft will ever be. In fact, research shows that the networks and bonds established during childhood are a significant marker for adult happiness.

We were fortunate enough to attend the State Surf Life Saving Carnival at Umina over the turn of the month, and while the weather wasn’t exactly inspiring, the spirit in our small group of Coogee Under 8 girls was nothing short of amazing. Juxtaposed against the dark clouds and driving rain enveloping the bay, their tenacity, thrill for competition, sportsmanship and comaraderie stood out like a beacon. Their perpetually smiling faces were a poignant example of living in the moment, and don’t we all need a subtle reminder sometimes!

Friendships forged over the summer months at Coogee Nippers meant the girls were more than comfortable in each others’s company. So when they weren’t competing or excitedly cheering on their team mates, they were building sand castles, frolicking about in the water, mucking around and creating lasting memories.

The warmth that we as parents felt inside as a result of their obvious joy was also matched by the pleasure of seeing them adopt a sole representative from Clovelly as one of their own, no questions asked.

Above all, we spent a long weekend bonding with a great bunch of parents, watching the tireless and unflappable Age Managers beam with pride as their little relay team lifted a Gold Medal, and marvelling at the girls’ innocence as they wondered what all the fuss was about. In fact, the highlight for them was buying matching fluffy hooded towel dresses and getting a french plait done by one of the mums in between races!

Now that is living.

Bren x

Adding study to the mix only made it trickier. But then I had to go and start my own business! Over committed much? Trying to find the balance just made matters worse.

My crowning glory has always been being a mum to my 2 beautiful children, but guilt had crept in for the first time. Missing occasions like award ceremonies and readings at assemblies, even taking them to their activities or walking them to school became an issue, and their behaviour did suffer. Fortunately(?) my hubby had been thoughtfully relieved of employment for a while and was able to pick up the slack. Who says global companies don’t care …

The Christmas school holidays was a particularly busy time establishing my business. My children would ask me why I didn’t spend time with them anymore, or tearfully express that they wished I had never started my business at all. Change can be hard for all involved. Big time guilt.

I expressed my woes to a friend who has experienced juggling a similar situation for a lot longer than me. She simply said “Well, that’s just life”. Straight to the point, and it made me really think. If she can accept it with all its ups and downs and not continually fight it, is there an intuitive lesson there?

Soon enough, hubby started working again which reintroduced load sharing and time pressure. Although feeling confronted, a little desperate, out of control and sometimes defeated, I could hear my inner-voice a little more clearly. Slowly I began to glimpse the important lesson that was waiting for me. And what a reward and revelation it was to be!

My lesson was simple. Not groundbreaking or surprising, but incredibly powerful for me.  My lesson has been to learn how to  COMPLETELY BE IN THE MOMENT, even if it’s just for a moment. To breathe deeply when there is nothing I can do to change a situation. Accept the moment, embrace it, enjoy it, and experience it with my entire being and not worry about anything else.

Being mindful of this message from within has made life richer, more heartfelt and more meaningful. Feeling grounded, calmer and connected is better than being like a sea-faring tornado.

For now, my quest towards finding balance is on hold, and instead I’ll keep up the practise of learning to embrace the moment, and block out the noise. Perhaps my choice to overload myself was a subconscious one that led the way to this breakthrough. I know I have a long way to go and a lot of practise to do, but my lesson starts with my little darlings as I gaze deeply into their eyes while they tell me stories of their day.

Have a soulful day.

Bren x

I have always, or rather thought I had always been really healthy. In 2002, my body, after giving me signs which I chose to ignore, developed tumours in my spleen. That was a turning point in my life. Going through an experience like that is such a highly personal experience, I have never felt so alone, although I had the support of my family and friends, it was an extremely personal battle that I had to endure myself. The insight into my body, spirituality and life itself was incredible at this time. I nurtured my body to wellness, after having a splenectomy (my spleen removed) and have since lived an organically rich life – living and breathing all things healthy.

What are some of the things you value most in life?

Above everything else: family. Family and having great family relationships is the foundation for a happy, healthy life.

Friends: I am extremely blessed to have several groups of friends, most of who have known me for most of my life. I have three girlfriends who I have been friends with since I was eight years old. I have another group of friends who I have been friends with for half my life – every year we go away together for a girls weekend and it is such a joy to experience such incredible fun times together.

Health: our health is so important and having experienced a health crisis it is so important to value our bodies – most of us don’t and we take our body so much for granted and that is not in anyone’s best interest. We only have one life (in this body anyway), it is all about nurturing the body mind and spirit. We don’t have to grow old expecting to get frail and ill, the more we nurture and look after our body now, the more it will reward us in years to come – see healthy lifestyle practices on www.theresekerr.com – I share a lot of information on health and wellness from myself and an array of people as my goal is to educate. When we are educated we can make informed decisions as to our health.

Happiness, peace and joy: It is so important to me to feel content and happy and at peace in my life. I am releasing a book in the not too distant future as to how I have achieved this and I share incredibly personal experiences in the book in the hope that people who have experienced similar things get to understand that their past in no way defines them or what they are capable of. I have a peace that radiates through my being now and it is such a magical place to sit in.

Can you share with us the benefits you and your family experienced once embarking on a focussed, healthier, more holistic lifestyle?

Personally, I have never felt as fit and healthy in all my life. Energy radiates from my core and my cells feel as though they are alive and vibrant and as a result I am truly living an active, balanced life. My skin glows, my hair shines, my body feels strong and vibrant and that was not always the case. I had a live blood analysis not that long ago and most people’s blood is about 12-14 years older than their physical age, the practitioner told me that my blood “age” looked about 12 years younger than my physical age and I don’t have a spleen (your blood filtering organ so that in itself is testament to the benefits of living a healthy life.

Miranda is the epitome of health, she lives and breaths health and nutrition.

None of our family, including John’s parents, Peter and Anne are on medication. Peter is 82 and Anne is 77 – not a bad result to be medication free at that age – testament to living a good healthy life.

Is organic produce best, and why?

“Certified organic” is the only true organic product. There is a huge misrepresentation in the world over in the use of the word “organic”. A product only has to contain one carbon to be classed as organic yet can contain a thousand or more chemicals. Certified Organic is the consumers guarantee of quality of product, their guarantee that the products don’t contain the nasty chemicals so commonly found in foods, chemicals such as food additives, pesticides, insecticides, preservatives, colourings, msg, etc. On average women put around 200 chemicals a day on their skin. Chemicals like sulfates, parabens, TEA’s, DEA’s, glycols, formaldehyde, formaldehyde derivatives, ethoxylates, artificial colours, flavourings, etc etc and we wonder why we don’t feel alive and lit up by our presence here.

I believe most people in our society are not giving their bodies the adequate nutrition needed in the first place and then they place the additional load both in and on their bodies by eating nutrient depleted, chemical laden foods and by applying a concoction of synthetic substances to their skin.

We like to use the analogy of a bucket, There is only so much water a bucket can hold, right? When the bucket reaches 99.99% capacity it only takes a few drops of additional water to overflow the bucket and inevitably there will be a mess to clean up. Likewise, we believe at some point the body will not be able to handle additional chemicals, without some adverse reaction, illness or disease resulting.

How important is it have a healthy diet and lifestyle from a young age?

A healthy diet from an early age is vitally important. Avoiding sugar is a must for parents with children and for every person. Sugar will cause bone, fertility, obesity, pancreatic and all sorts of challenges so it is vitally important to eliminate refined sugars from the diet. As a family we don’t eat sweet things that often. We live by the 80/20 rule where we are mostly healthy and a little indulgent. The funny thing is, the more healthy you eat, the healthier you want to be and you don’t put bad, highly processed, highly refined, high sugar content foods into your system as you don’t crave them.

By starting early with living a healthy life, you are giving your body the best chance not to age and to remain healthy and disease free. The World Health Organisation (WHO) state on their website that one of the critical concerns faxing the world today, even in Western culture is malnutrition – malnutrition meaning the lack on nutrient-rich foods. We can eat all we want but there is a big difference between “diet” (what we put in our mouth) and “nutrition” (what nutrients our body absorbs from the food we put in our mouth). Education is the key and that is what I am all about and I surround myself with people who are wellness focussed and want to share the benefits of living a healthy existence and living that through to a ripe old age – it totally is possible..

What are the must have ingredients in your kitchen, and what types of food do you regard as poor choices that we should avoid, and why?

• Certified Organic Coconut Oil is by far one of the ingredients I must have. It has a high heat resistance and is the only oil I cook with.
• I use Olive and Macadamia Oil in my salads as well as coconut oil as they are some of the most nutrient-rich oils as well as Chia Oil from the Chia company
• Fresh healthy certified organic green leafy vegetables, eg Kate, Spinach, Silverbeet, lettuce, Bok Choy and all greens generally – they are a high alkaline food and are so beneficial to the body. I put all of these in my healthy shakes, see my recipes at www.theresekerr.com. Each day I include a heaped handful of raw kale and spinach, silver beet in my shakes – you could not ever get a child to eat that amount of raw green leafy vegetable so by adding this to a shake, they get super nutrient rich food in something they will love.
• Avocado – a super food and one I include in my shakes as well.
• Chia Oil and Chia Seeds, along with Acai, Maca, Mesquite, Cacao, Spirulina, Vital Greens, nuts and more nuts – these are superfoods and fill the body with incredible nutrients, support the digestive system and 60-70% of the immune system operates from the digestive system so I cannot overemphasize the importance of looking after your digestion
• I use Quinoa, Almond or Hazelnut Milk instead of dairy – low GI, (Quinoa is a high protein alternative), fantastic alternatives to dairy
• Fresh baby coconuts are the base for most of my shakes – I use the coconut water and the flesh and it is incredibly nutrient-rich. Coconuts are one of the understated superfoods – coconuts should be in everyone’s pantry
• Broccoli is a superfood – but only eat certified organic or farm fresh from the markets (as long as they don’t use pesticides and insecticides)
• Homemade Bioactive yoghurt – I make it myself from Progurt starter and it is so great for your tummy and digestive system
• Rejuvelac – I make my own fermented grain products including fermented rejuvelac (grain juice) and then use the grain to make fermented porridge – great way to kick start your day is by having high enzyme, sprouted porridge and rejuvelac – these become a broom for the intestines.

Can the foods we choose to eat impact on our moods, behaviour and energy levels?

Without question our diet or rather our nutritional intake or lack thereof impacts every part of our life. Having adequate nutrition in our body and not having chemicals in our foods, personal care and household products impacts every part of our lives, including moods, behaviour and energy levels. Our foods are filled with chemicals, additives, preservatives and we wonder why the incidence of ADD, ADHD etc has escalated. We are eating nutrient deficient foods and to add further insult we are adding toxins that our body then has to eliminate in some way. In our society today, I believe our liver spends so much time detoxing that it doesn’t get the opportunity to perform other vital roles, one of which is breaking down fat.

An example of how the food we consume impacts our mood, etc… The higher the sugar content is in the food we consume, the higher the energy peak will be but it is only short-lived. As our body craves more energy, we get agitated, can’t concentrate, we crave more sugar there begins the continual roller coaster ride because we then beat ourselves up because we had that extra lolly or cake. Anything containing high levels of sugar is what we call quick releasing energy food, but the challenge is if we have too much “sugar” or highly refined, highly processed foods, high carbohydrate foods, anything in excess of what our immediate needs are, our body converts that sugar to fat as opposed to burning it. It is estimated that in America, for example, people are consuming four times as much sugar-type foods than the pancreas can actually handle. Frightening statistic.

Filling our body with nutrients is essential for mind as well as body health. Our bodies need vitamins and minerals and essential oils to function effectively. Our body also needs adequate rest and downtime as well a high quality filtered water.

Your new book, Lunchbox Solutions, incorporates the ideals of healthy living you describe above, and the graphics are yummy on their own! Do you feel that families let themselves down nutritionally when it comes to lunchtime?

I feel that families do the best with what they have and what they know. One of our goals as authors or Lunchbox Solutions is to educate people, because it is only when we are educated about nutrition and/or the lack thereof in our foods, that we have the ability to make informed choices as to our health. We wrongly presume that what is in our foods is healthy and will provide us with everything our bodies need, that is certainly not the case. With a lot of the foods currently available on supermarket shelves, you might as well eat the packaging because the nutrient-content within is so depleted.

Buying quality fresh produce, produce that doesn’t contain all of the nasty chemicals is one of the best things you can do for your body and it doesn’t have to be expensive. Go to the local farmers markets (see www.theresekerr.com for local farmers markets around the world), as certified organic is usually reasonable at the markets and/or if you can’t buy CO product buy farm fresh produce.

Avoid sugar and any foods that rapidly convert to sugar, eg pastries, pasta, anything containing sugar and/or anything that is highly processed. Avoid trans fats (found in a lot of our foods), they are poisonous to the body. Use certified organic coconut oil as your cooking oil (certified organic) and avoid tinned or packaged products wherever possible. Also avoid low fat, low sugar. We, including our kids, need healthy, low GI, sustaining meals and Lunchbox Solutions provides those answers. See http://theresekerr.com/books/lunchbox-solutions/ to access some incredibly healthy, nutrient-rich, low GI, sustainable alternative lunches – great for all the family!

How easy is it really to prepare healthy lunches for ourselves and our children, and what are some preparation tools you find useful?

It is easier than you think. Like everything it is all about preparation.

Sometimes it seems a whole lot easier to just give into children and throw into their lunchboxes that vegemite or jam sandwich, packet of chips and a cupcake. There is no doubt that this type of approach to lunches is quick, simple and easy. But the question is: Is life simple and easy when we have tired, angry or unwell children? Isn’t it easier to get through the day when our children are vibrant, happy and healthy.

What we eat directly influences our health, our energy, our capacity to learn and our relationships. If we can see value in this then we will be able to find the extra time we need to create nourishing food.

The reality is that everyone is busy and yet we naturally prioritise whatever activity we value. If we value exercise, then we organise our day so that we have time to visit the gym or go for a run. Our choices are always influenced by the value we place on them. That said, there are plenty of ways to economise your time in the kitchen. Even though preplanning menus, sourcing and purchasing high quality food and preparing nutritious meals may take more time, we can assure you that once you get used to creating a few meals and snacks at the same time (best done on the weekend) and making larger quantities of a meal (so that you have pre-planned extras) you will find that making lunches in the working week becomes a breeze.

Here are a few tips:
• Think ahead and plan – If you know what is on the menu for the week ahead you will save countless trips to the shop as well as the stress of having to decide what to create for lunch and dinner each day.
• Cook pre-planned extras – Sometimes when you make your evening meals, double the recipe so that you have plenty of leftovers or what we call “pre-planned extras” – for lunch the next day.
• Keep your pantry well stocked with staples – these might include healthy grains, flours, pasta’s, rice, beans, cans of coconut milk, healthy tuna, salmon and sardines, and rice and nut milks so that you always have ingredients to make meals and nutritious treats when time allows
• Keep your kitchen well stocked with snacks – the simplest being fresh certified organic fruit and vege’s. You can also buy a selection of dried fruits, nuts (preferably activated nuts) and healthy crackers, all of which can be used as quick additions in lunchboxes.
• Consider lunches the night before – make sure that everything you need is ready. Sometimes nutrition gets left behind in the moring madness and we focus on simply getting “something” into the lunchbox, as opposed to getting “something healthy” in there.

How do you deal with picky eaters?

Children observe everything we do, they always have. If we truly want them to participate in life in a healthy manner, then we have to be an inspiring example of that. In order for our children to develop broad, healthy palataes they need to notice how we honour our body – there is enormous power in role modelling. When our children observe us eating lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, choosing to drink water or eating a nourishing breakfast every day, they will follow suit – Monkey see, monkey do.

Become the “Health Guru”. Because you can only teach what you know, the onus is on your to become knowledgeable. We say, elect a food captain, someone who is in charge of the household’s “food culture”. This person not only researches and sources healthy food but also monitors the family’s diet, ensuring adequate intake of fruit, vegetables and water, for example.

A powerful way of teaching is to invite your children to help you plan and cook meals. Explore healthy recipe books together and have them select what they would like to eat. While cooking or shopping you can teach them about wholesome ingredients and how to prepare food; these are wonderful life skills and their participation will encourage commitment to new lifestyle habits.

Talk your kids up – everyone loves praise especially our kids! Develop the habit of giving your children praise about how healthy, strong and vibrant they are, here are a couple of examples:

“You are a powerhouse, look at those muscles… It must be all the good food you eat.”
“You are one of the best eaters I know.”
“I love seeing you look after your body like that – you are amazing.”
“I am so proud of the choices you make.”
Be a stand for what’s possible for your children’s health. Take out sugar and highly processed foods, highly refined foods. Flynn, for goodness sakes is only two years old yet he loves olives, grapefruit, paw paw, eggplant and foods that you wouldn’t expect a two year old to eat. When we are a stand for our children’s health, they only know what we know and therefore accept what we accept as normal.

What’s next for Therese Kerr?

Breakfast Solutions will be released around April this year and I am so excited about that. I am also releasing three other books in addition to Breakfast Solutions this year so stay tuned for that. I have moved out of the GM role of KORA Organics to undertake more public speaking and to take on the event management role as I love more than anything sharing the benefits of living a healthy life with others. I have sat in an office for most of my life and my heart sings more when I am out with the people hence making this very exciting change.

I am also releasing my own certified organic household products – again another exciting venture and I am creating programs for health and wellness so this year is going to be an exciting time for myself and my family and I am so looking forward to what lies ahead for us all.

More than anything though I also intend to take more time for myself and my family, to spend quality time with Matty, Flynn, Miranda and Orlando and Johnny.

I will be giving more of my time to Kids Helpline as it is an incredible organisation that supports all children in Australia. A child phones Kids Helpline every 60 seconds in Australia, and on average, Kids Helpline receives between 12-14 youth suicided related calls every night. I am off to Peru in November for Kids Helpline, fulfilling my own personal dream of trekking Machu Picchu and in the process raising much needed funds for KHL – to put it bluntly, 40% of all kids aged between 5 and 25, who phone Kids Helpline can’t get through and we need to change that. If you would like to help me help the kids of Australia by donating to this non-government funded organisation you can do one of two things or even both if you feel inclined:

• Participate in the Peru trek with me
• Donate to my fund-raising initiative to help raise the money for KHL

To do the above please go to: http://kidshelplineperu.gofundraise.com.au/page/ThereseKerr and together we can make the difference to many lives.

Would you like to share one of your nutritional kids’ lunch box ideas plus its health benefits?

Roast two chickens at dinner time – one for the meal and one for leftovers. Use the drumsticks in the lunchbox (ensure you have the adequate insulated bag to keep the food in the lunchbox cool and safe). Add to the lunchbox ½ a sliced cucumber, some grapes and an apple. You may also like to make in advance a mini quiche or falafel balls with our dipping sauce and include. You could even add a healthy fruit spelt bun – all of this information can be found in Lunchbox Solutions.
In Lunchbox Solutions we provide so many healthy lunchbox options for you to make and you can make them on weekends and then freeze them – even frozen they are a much better option that the high GI, high fat, highly refined and processed food options currently filling the lunchboxes of today.

Most of all, enjoy the journey on taking your kids on a healthy adventure – the rewards will be enormous – you will have happy, healthy, children who are equipped to learn more efficiently and are less likely to get bored, hungry or even anxious at school.

Enjoy and let your little lights shine.

Love Therese xxx