Believing in the incredible power of food as medicine I undertook and committed myself to raising them on a diet of nutritious, home cooked meals, even though cooking three meals a day from scratch is A LOT of work (not to mention the dishes).

They are now strapping 15 and 17 year olds who are entirely capable of cooking for themselves (get your kids in the kitchen as young as possible! but I still do most of the heavy lifting when it comes to cooking.

I just can’t stop.

I can’t stop because I love knowing that despite how much take-out, processed foods, missed meals, alcohol (!), they’re having out there in the world, that home is where I can always make sure they well get a proper,  meal full of goodness to nourish every cell in their bodies.

I can’t stop because they have spread their wings and are flying so very quickly away and deep in my soul I already miss them and cooking for them makes me feel connected to them and hold on to them a little longer.

I can’t stop because I feel joy seeing their faces light up when they hear they’re favourite Creamy Pasta Bake or Mexican Beef and Bean Burritos is for dinner.

I can’t stop because they are so self sufficient and independent in every way that feeding them feels like one of the last few things I can still do for them to show them how much I love them.

I can’t stop because food is love in my heart and my home and it always will be this way.

Bren x

While most of my 30’s was consumed with the craziness of babies and dealing with post natal depression, insomnia and anxiety that came along for the ride. All the while I managed to nurture my kids as they grew into toddlers, then school-age children (boy didn’t that go fast!).
 

My 40s on the other hand have allowed for more time for personal growth and reflection.
 
My kids are now teenagers, and while I remain ever-present for them, their growing independence has allowed me the space to become more self aware and I realise in my 40’s I’m happier being me despite the changes in how my body looks, the greying hair, the extra wrinkles and the perimenopause symptoms (!)

 I also appreciate being alone with myself and I understand myself better. I care less about what people think of me, if they don’t like me, it’s their problem not mine, and generally feel more confident within myself which makes me feel more powerful.
 
I am blessed with a wide friendship group, but have learnt that friendships change over time. Sometimes they have an expiration date and fizzle away. And that’s OK. But I can now recognise the handful of besties who will always, always have my back. Even if I don’t speak to them all that often, because well #life, I know they’re there as I am for them.
 
I have learnt to cherish the deep scars from events in my life that were difficult or traumatic. They somehow remind me I’m alive and have gifted me my biggest life lessons.
 
As I travel through my 40’s, love, peace and harmony are what I crave. I have no interest in being sucked into someone else’s drama, so I’ve become ace at creating boundaries : )
 
The big one though, is having time for self care and slowly but surely getting better at the art of graciously saying “no” AND not feeling guilty about saying it.

As my children grow older and I can feel their inevitable and natural separation, I realise that nothing is more important to me than them and our precious family unit.

My big goal in life is to stay connected to them. So I’m conscious of making beautiful memories with them, to be present in their lives everyday, and ensure that I look after my health so as I grow older I can keep up with them, show up for them, stay well for them.

Onwards and upwards.

Watch out 50, here I come!

One of the ways I address my health is by doing a deep cleanse around spring to feel ready for summer with a reset of the mind, body and soul. Right now we are offering a Break Through! Signature Cleanse Summer Special available for a short time only! All the recipes are absolutely bursting with nutrients and flavour and are antioxidant-rich and anti-inflammatory, which makes them super powerful and helps with weight management, balancing hormones, reducing cravings and feeling fantastic in a body you love. Find out more here.

Brenda x

Grab your FREE copy of my 'CALM YOUR CORTISOL' recipe book to soothe your cortisol and start your journey to high energy, fast metabolism, and feeling like yourself again!

Do you feel like BURNT TOAST!?

Do you always say YES?!

As women we are socialised to feel responsible for the feelings and well-being of those around us, pushing our own well-being and needs aside.

We’ve been brought up to be people pleasers and avoid conflict.

Remember your teachers who commend you for getting along with everyone in class?

Your own parents who smother you with love when you say yes to everything they’ve suggested?

From childhood we’re taught not to defy authority so ‘yes’ becomes engrained in us.

We want to please others so that we fit in, are well-considered and liked by our peers.

We say YES because …

We want to get along.

We want to be nice.

We don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings.

We worry that saying no will break our bonds.

We don’t want to feel disapproved of.

We don’t want to be rejected.

But saying all that YES is to our own detriment and can lead to our physical and emotional needs not being met, ultimately leading to resentment, stress and burnout.

PAY YOURSELF FIRST

For most of us it is very easy to say “yes”.

But for many of us, it’s just not so easy to say “no”.

Take it from me, saying no takes training, practice and time.

Practice saying no.

By taking pause and checking in with yourself and whether what you really want to say is ‘no’.

By listening to cues that it’s time to ease off (before you collapse like a house of cards).

Or if ‘no’ is too confronting what about “not right now”?

Or, “can I think about it and get back to you?”.

Feel the fear but make the change anyway.

At first you might feel like crap for saying no.

Eventually you will feel proud… and healthier because ‘no’ is the first step in saying ‘yes’ to you.

Remember, there will be plenty more opportunities to say yes!

PAY YOURSELF FIRST

If you’ve been saying YES too often, you might find your stress hormone, cortisol, is riding high!

This can become dangerous and lead to health issues like weight gain, sleep disorders, acne, sleep disorders and impaired immune system. 

Learn to Calm Your Cortisol by saying NO and by feeding your body these cortisol soothing recipes in my FREE CALM YOUR CORTISOL ebook  >>>>>>>>

Bren x

Grab your FREE copy of my 'CALM YOUR CORTISOL' recipe book to soothe your cortisol and start your journey to high energy, fast metabolism, and feeling like yourself again!

Guest Post by Dr. Elise Bialylew, Founder and host of Mindful in May.

Elise Bialylew Bio:

Elise Bialylew is bestselling author of, The Happiness Plan and founder of Mindful in May, the world’s largest online global mindfulness fundraising campaign that teaches thousands of people each year to meditate, while raising funds to build clean water projects in the developing world. A doctor trained in psychiatry, turned social entrepreneur and mindfulness expert, she’s passionate about supporting individuals and organisations to develop inner tools for greater wellbeing and flourishing, and offers workshops and training at The Mind Life Project. Her work has featured in the Huffington Post, New York Times, and on Australian Television.

My husband and I definitely want them to have every opportunity to experience new things, and to enjoy the things they love to do, especially with their friends. But, we live in such a busy world and sometimes we feel like they are slipping away just a bit too much, just a bit too soon. That somehow in all the craziness of life the most important thing has been overlooked. FAMILY TIME.

The reality is that in our busy, stressed-out lives, our primal parenting instincts have been dampened, and we need to re-awaken them. According to physician, author and childhood development expert, Dr Gabriel Mate,

“For the first time in human history children are more influenced by their peers than by adults in their lives. And developmentally that’s a disaster.”

I don’t need to tell anyone how to attach to their kids, it’s our natural instinct.

But somehow, in so many ways, we are less and less available to our kids and we have lost sight of how important attachment actually is, leading them to looking elsewhere for attachment, usually their peer groups. Our kids need someone to connect with, ideally their family, and continue to need to stay attached right up until they turn into adults and especially through the tumultuous teenage years.

For my family, as much as we can, we connect by eating meals together, but hubby works long hours and often can’t join us. Then there’s homework, after school and weekend sports, hanging with friends and social activities and suddenly we have lost sight of when we were last all together, just us. But TIME is the one thing we need to build deep family connections, for bonding, attachment and sharing experiences we all love.

So when I announced last weekend that we would be having a FAMILY DAY, the teenager grumbled and gave me the bottom lip ‘cause he was invited to meet his mates for a round of golf (again). Part of me felt bad for holding him back (even though he’d just played the previous day), and whilst I almost waivered #mothersguilt, I stayed strong, knowing deep in my heart what was best.

Perhaps one of the most challenging part of having adolescents is finding opportunities to spend time with them and finding things to do that everyone will enjoy. We ended up going on a lovely, long walk through the Malabar Headlands, visiting the grandparents, and once home we all hopped into the kitchen for a two hour cooking session!

Did the kids bicker? As if I need to answer that!

Was the day perfect? Off course not!

Did we all still love the day? Absolutely!

And we all felt the beautiful deepening of our family bond.

Bren x

 Guest post by Sylvia Puentos

To me, the word failure is highly charged and disturbingly absolute. To fail means that you are wrong; that you are inadequate, incompetent or ‘not enough’. A 2014 study found that 70% of parents feel judged regularly by others around them, including by strangers. As yet, there are no statistics on how many of us judge ourselves, nor how often we turn our criticism inward because of some perceived lack of parenting ability.

We, as a society, have created a false ideal around raising children; we have come to believe that there are set guidelines to being an effective parent. That there is a ‘right’ way. According to this learned limitation, if we can simply recognize where we are failing in our role as a parent (or if we are told by others) then we can find ways to fix it.

But what if it doesn’t have to be this way? What if we were willing to confront the idea that failure doesn’t actually exist?

Failure is a fabrication of society and it is built around an ever-changing set of ideals. (That which was regarded as good parenting a century ago may be maligned today, and vice versa.) When we buy into failure it sticks with us and it creates a vortex of wrongness. Just like digging a hole, it is easy to fall so deep into a spiral of judgement and perceived failure that it is almost impossible to climb back out.

One of the most important things we can understand as parents is that our offspring learn how to ‘be’ in this world, through observation and example. When children observe their parents struggling with the rightness and wrongness of their role – when they watch mothers and/or fathers succumb to judgement from self and others – they, too, learn to approach life in this way.

It is in this way – by mimicking the behaviors of their parents – that children learn to judge themselves as ‘wrong’ or ‘a failure’ when they make a not-so-good choice or decision.

But what if we could learn to function as parents (and role models) from a place of allowance and kindness toward ourselves? What if, instead of measuring our choices and behaviours against a social ideal, we came to view parenting as an exploration. In this way, poor choices are not failings on our behalf – they are opportunities to learn more about what we would like our life (or our relationship with our children) to look like, and what we would like to change.

Parenting as an exploration

When we accept that parenting is an exploration, we remove any concept of success or failure. An explorer has not failed if their trekking brings them to an impassable river. It is simply a sign that the current direction is not working; they will need to adjust to venture further. So it is with parenting.

From this space, one of consideration and allowance, we become more open to the actual needs of our children. Specifically, without the fear of perceived failure, it is easier to choose:

Are you willing to be a bad parent? Are you willing to choose what you feel is best for you and your family, despite what social expectations may dictate?

Are you willing to be vulnerable in front of your children? Are you willing to see your child’s contribution to the family as equal to your own? Are you willing to empower them by asking questions?

Are you willing to listen to your children? Parents often talk too much and many press their own perspective – what is right, wrong or acceptable – onto the child without any acknowledgment of the child’s awareness.

Are you willing to give your child whatever space they require, even if they choose silence? Often all that is required for a child to find solutions to their challenges is the space to explore their own perspective and capabilities. What if as a parent, you made sure to say “You’re an amazing being and you are gift to the world?”

When we, as parents, are willing to step into a kinder and more accepting view of ourselves, we offer an incredible gift to our children: the ability to live, learn, explore, strive and fall without ever judging themselves as wrong, inadequate or a failure.

Five questions you can ask when you feel like you have failed:

1. According to who am I failing?
2. Where did I buy the notion that I have to be perfect?
3. What if I have been doing the best I can, with the tools I have?
4. What’s right about me I’m not getting?
5. What is it that I know that is best for my child/family that I haven’t acknowledged?

About Sylvia Puentes: As an Author, Certified Facilitator of Access Consciousness®, Right Voice For You® Facilitator, Educator Empowerment Coach, International Speaker and Trainer, Sylvia Puentes contributes to people of all ages by sharing tools and techniques that can transform any area of life. Her work also includes courses in Public Speaking, Leadership and Employee engagement. Her kind presences creates a space of ease in working with individuals and groups to clear limitations and open the door to endless possibilities.   

Guest Post by Amy Williams

Is praising a child with a treat for a job well done an appropriate reward or blatant bribery? Some feel rewards undermine motivation and do nothing more than encourage negative behaviors by reinforcing them. Others strongly believe implementing a reward system helps establish work ethic, instills a sense of pride in doing something well, and provides positive reinforcement for appropriate behaviors.

The front side of the argument believes offering rewards, especially edible sugary ones, can lead to multiple negative effects, including health risks such as weight gain, cavities, increased risk for type II diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure, and elevated cholesterol levels. It also can lead to emotional eating, the encouragement of overall poor eating habits, and the creation of a nearly insatiable sweet tooth, all of which further perpetuate those health risks. Coexisting with this negative health argument is the fact many people see rewards as a way to get children to stop a negative behavior, instead of encouraging a positive one in the first place.

The other approach to the argument is the idea that a reward is a positive consequence for doing the right thing. Implemented appropriately, rewards can be used as an incentive for making good initial decisions and demonstrating acceptable behaviors.

Let’s break it down more specifically. Offering a treat to stop a negative behaviour, commonly known as bribery, most often happens during a time of chaos or crisis. Think of it as a desperate negotiating ploy to just make them stop. For example, you are at the doctor’s office and your child is pitching a fit and bouncing off the walls. You have no choice but to sit and wait for the doctor to see you, all the while the older women in the office are giving you dirty looks, and the men are offering you unsolicited advice on how they would handle the situation. You are likely to bribe your child with whatever she wants if she will just stop the behaviour NOW. Lo and behold, the pack of cookies from the vending machine does the trick, she quiets down, and you get to wait for the good doctor in relative peace. The problem with this in the long run is you didn’t control the situation, your child manipulated it. She got exactly what she wanted, when she wanted it, and you were played. This will likely become a strategy she will use again because it worked for her. But it doesn’t modify her behaviour in a positive way; it reinforces the negative action.

On the flip side of this, rewards are not discussed and negotiated in the heat of the moment. Ideally, a reward system is thoughtfully planned and tangible rewards are laid out ahead of time as an incentive for appropriate behaviours. Much like an adult receives a paycheck for doing a job and doing it well, rewards are concrete “payment” for your child following through with what was previously laid out in your expectations. Instead of bribing them to stop a negative behaviour, it is her “paycheck” for doing the right thing. When coupled with praise and encouragement, rewards can be highly effective in promoting similar behaviours in the future.

However, for a reward system to work, some careful consideration needs to take place before a reward is ever offered. Together, parent and child should create a list of possible rewards and the necessary expectations required to earn them. This instills motivation and incentive to earn them, and by letting the child help determine the rewards, she will be more willing to work for them. Rewards can range from a special activity with Mum and/or Dad, to a favourite outing. The key is to balance the reward system with conversation about appropriate behaviours, teaching and modelling the expectations to earn the rewards, and keeping the rewards reasonable in both frequency and cost. If the reward isn’t earned on these expectations, it should not be given, or the system will be invalid and ineffective.

With thoughtful planning, and firm boundaries, a reward system can be a powerful tool to help shape your child’s behaviours. It can help instil motivation, purposeful intent, and acceptable social skills that can be carried over into all aspects of a child’s life.

Do you have a reward system in place when it comes to encouraging positive behaviour in your kids?

Amy Williams is a free-lance journalist based in Southern California and mother of two. As a parent, she enjoys spreading the word on positive parenting techniques in the digital age and raising awareness on issues like cyberbullying and online safety.

Guest post by Amy Williams

Most of us use social media and rely on it to stay in touch with family, read the news, and follow our favourite bloggers and our children are joining the social revolution, also. Our kids love the fast paced world of instant communication with friends and the unlimited ways available to express themselves. These reasons have led to a surge in social media consumption among our children. One app that stands out in particular is Snapchat. According to Business Insider, Snapchat is currently the most popular app among our teens.

Snapchat 101: Things Parents Need to Know

Snapchat is a fun and engaging app for our kids, but it is critical that we understand the inner workings of this app so we can empower our sons and daughters with the skills needed to safely interact with their friends. The main drawing feature of Snapchat is that it relies on disappearing messages.

These messages and photos automatically delete after being viewed, which is a liberating concept for our kids. Teens enjoy the fleeting quality of this app, claiming it helps promote more authentic communication. Users don’t have to worry about creating a running timeline of every like, comment, photo, or post that occurs on almost every other social media giant.

A few years ago, this site implemented Stories which acts like a homepage or profile. A story is basically a compilation of all the chats a user has created or posted within 24 hours to let friends view them. This, coupled with the amusing filters the site has adopted, allows our sons and daughters unlimited opportunities to engage with their friends in a freeing manner that they don’t often get on other platforms.

However, teens have been known to be lured into a false sense of security with disappearing messages and sites like Snapchat. Occasionally, kids will use this app to take inappropriate pictures or sexts. Often our sons and daughters believe the images will disintegrate into the thin air, but they don’t realize that Snapchats can be screen-grabbed by someone on the receiving end. This can open a child up to extortion, sexting scandals, and cyberbullying. Snapchat even addresses this issue on their site telling people to “never post or send any nude or sexual content involving people under the age of 18- even yourself”.

10 Essential Tips to Keep Our Kids Safe

Snapchat is a favourite social media hangout among our kids and is probably here to stay. It is our job to protect our kids and even though we can’t look over their shoulder for every post, we can help set some guidelines to keep their safety a priority while enjoying the social media app. After all, it is the loving thing to do.

Listed below are 10 ways to keep our kids safe on Snapchat:

• Before downloading Snapchat, have a discussion that clarifies and outlines all your expectations. Make sure to include the dangers of sexting and remind children that the Internet never truly forgets.
• The app isn’t geared toward the 13 and under crowd, respect their age guidelines and only allow older teens to use Snapchat.
• Help a child adjust their privacy settings within the app.
• Encourage a teen to notify an adult if they receive anything that makes them uncomfortable.
• Let them know that it is okay to “just say no” to a sext request.
• If a teen encounters bullying or harassing messages they can directly contact Snapchat.
• Only have a child friend people they know in real life.
• Never share passwords or personal information with others, even their best friend or crush.
• If a child receives racy photos, immediately have them delete the image and send a message back to the sender telling them to stop sending those types of photos. This will help protect a child if they are ever prosecuted for sexting by the authorities.
• Teach them the “grandma rule”. They should only post items that they would feel comfortable with their grandparents seeing.

 What social media tips do you have for keeping kids safe online?

Amy Williams is a free-lance journalist based in Southern California and mother of two. As a parent, she enjoys spreading the word on positive parenting techniques in the digital age and raising awareness on issues like cyberbullying and online safety.

We stayed three nights from Friday night. I was a little nervous as I’ve only ever visited the Hunter for wine-tasting and fine dining and I wasn’t sure there would be enough to keep my kids (11 and 12yrs) entertained, especially since I banned all their devices accompanying us on our family holiday!

Doing my research paid off and I can safely say that it was one of the most enjoyable short breaks we’ve had and I highly recommend it for kids of all ages.

Accomodation

Elfin Hill is a gorgeous, quaint, tasteful property in the heart of Pokolbin. It was within perfect proximity to all our attractions, yet offered the beauty and tranquility we all craved for some down time. The weather was perfect the whole weekend and on arrival the kids enjoyed a refreshing dip in their rainwater pool.

Our hosts were warm and welcoming and the breakfast they provided for us was simply delicious.

Here I am looking happy because well, look at those Elfin Hill grounds!

Chillaxing in the common area with a view.

Crisp and sunny breakfast each morning.

A Continental breakfast was included in the price. With offerings like delicious bircher muesli, almond milk chia seed pudding, yoghurt, fresh fruit, croissants with home-made jam and green and pear tea.

Cooked breakfast options like this Breakfast Bruscetta are available for an extra price.

Lots of space for morning stretches.

Beautiful rose bushes…

… with adorable, tiny frogs living in them! The kids were enamoured.

ACTIVITES

On Saturday my golfing boys enjoyed 18 holes at The Vintage .

While the girls went horse riding at Hunter Valley Horses.

Followed by the Handmade in the Hunter Markets …

…where we discovered this stall Nutso with THE BEST allergy free cookies. Gluten and Dairy Free and made with lots of organic ingredients too. We bought a packet of almond fig & ginger biscuits. They didn’t last long! 

My daughter loved the art stall below where the lovely stall holder, Vanessa from Apothecary Artist,  taught her all about gold leafing. The little gold leafing kit we bought occupied her for hours once we got back to our accomodation.

These smoothies were so much fun, we couldn’t figure out what they were exactly! They are actually candles made by Sweet Wicks Candles and they smell just like the smoothie they represent! I shudder to think of all the chemicals used to create these, but honestly, the joy they brought everyone who happened upon them, including us!

The markets were small, so we only stayed for a short while then headed to the Hunter Valley Gardens for some lunch and an afternoon of strolling around the stunning gardens. 

My favourite gardens were the Story Book Gardens, such fun for young and old alike. Brought back so many childhood memories. Check me out with Humpty!

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie, kissed the girls and made them cry ?

UPDATE: 5th April 2018

Go-karting was recommended to us at Go-Karts-Go (they also have putt putt and archery), where my husband raced my daughter around a massive 850m long track! Not for the faint hearted this one, with lots of speed demons on the course. Hubby was relieved that he beat his daughter (for now!)

And while my son is an avid golfer who plays off a handicap of 8.8, he’s still completely obsessed with putt putt! There is a great spot for putt putt and aqua golf at the Hunter Gardens. Fun for the whole family.

Wine-tasting (done sneakily so the kids would enjoy it too!)

Greatest idea ever is hiring bikes from Grapemobile Bicycle Hire cellar door in Pokolbin and cycling around the dirt tracks to visit some wineries. NB: If you have younger kids you can hire a tag along trail bike and baby seats.

My kids had an absolute blast cycling the day away, and hubby and I got to stop into 5-6 wineries, to find some previously undiscovered gems like Worthington’s and Calais wines.

Best Part – you can order wine from most of the wineries on the bike tour, and they deliver them back to Grapemobile where you can collect them when you return your bike, pop them into your car boot or onto Grapemobile’s complimentary return bus service.

Worthington’s Vineyard where we tasted some delicious semillions. Love this space.

Scarborough Wines are well known to us, but we’re glad we stopped in because the service here was impeccable. The staff sat us down on the verandah with sweeping views of the vineyard and served us a cheese and dried fruit plate whilst pouring us endless wine to try. All the while the kids played on the grass with all the apparatus provided  like hula hoops, balls, ….needless to say we ordered a case of our faves to be sent back home to us in Sydney. Cheers!

The chardonnay at Calais Estate was a revelation and the Gourmet Picnic Hamper we purchased from there and enjoyed on the vineyard certainly hit the spot for the four of us after a long day of cycling.

We had picked the bikes up at 11am and by 4pm the kids were exhausted, but with Audrey Wilkinson closing in half an hour, we returned the bikes, jumped in the car and zoomed over to taste some of the best wines we’d tasted that day. Soaked in some of the best views too.

UPDATE: 5th April 2018

On our second Easter visit to the Hunter Valley, we found a different bike hire provider, Sutton’s Estate Electric Bike Hire, and this time were able to experience the amazing wineries, cheese shops, chocolate shops and restaurants by electric bikes (which made cycling up hills much easier for the lazier members of the family!). The views along the bike track they mapped out for us were honestly just so beautiful.

They also offer on road servicing and can pick up and drop off from your accomodation on request, and also will run around and pick up all your wines and food for you to take back to your accomodation.

Full of beans at Sutton’s Estate and ready for our bike ride winery tour.

Tintilla estate

Dining

If you book Elfin Hill online then their continental breakfast is complimentary, so we didn’t really venture out for breakfast and really only dined out for dinner on two nights.

The aim was to find delicious local food, whilst avoiding the fine dining price tag. On our first night we drove 20 minutes to Lillinos Bar and Trattoria, because Italian is always going to be a winner with the kids. It didn’t disappoint. We had Gnocchi al Pomodoro, Pizza with Proscuitto, Roast Potato, Mushroom and Rosemary, Tagliatelle all Ossobucco and a lovely St Clements Merlot 2009 to wash it down. 

Photo courtesy www.winecountry.com.au

On Saturday night we had a fabulous dinner at The Royal Oak Hotel. Our hosts at Elfin Hill recommend eating in the bar section for a more affordable option (though one day I hope to eat in their fine dining restaurant in the back).  We arrived early around 6pm before it quickly filled up. My daughter and I enjoyed every bite of our simple but perfect meal of Pan Fried Tasmanian Salmon served with green beans, chips (proper hand cut ones!) and aioli,  hubby and son where stealing the beans off our plates they were so crisp and tasty. Everything on the plate was cooked perfectly. Our son surprised us (not) by ordering the House-Made Classic Beef Burger with Jack cheese, caramelised onion, tomato, spinach, pickles, ketchup and chips and my husband ordered the best dang Gourmet Margherita with local ripe tomatoes, fresh basil, buffalo mozzarella and olives. Audrey Wilkinson also made a guest appearance : )

Now for the moment the kids had been waiting for, a visit to the Sabor In the Hunter Dessert Bar. This was planned as their Easter indulgence and it did not disappoint.  I think the website and the photos below says it all! 

Lemon Curd Meringue

Toblerone chocolate cheesecake with vanilla bean ice-cream. Yep, you read that right!

UPDATE: 5th April 2018

A newish restaurant to open in the Ben Eaton/Lindeman Estate, was Baume, pronounced (bow-may). A lovely family-style restaurant with large meals for everyone to share as you can see we did here. We ordered Saganaki Prawns to share as a starter (not pictured), and for mains, a 16 inch chicken and mushroom pizza plus spanner crab pasta and a delicious and fresh rocket, fennel, orange and pecorino salad. Yum! Highly recommend this place.

After my husband and son played 18 holes at Cypress Lakes golf course, my daughter and I joined them at the bistro for dinner. The vibe was super casual, with live music, a gorgeous view, and great food, everyone was happy. My daughter and I ordered the Pork Belly dish with Quince Aioli and Slaw (crispiest of crackling, this dish didn’t dissapoint), plus we shared a tender and super-tasty calamari. The boys had burgers which were some of the better burgers they’ve had. Prices were reasonable too.

All in all this was a wonderful short break and we’ll definitely be back to do it again.

Have you been to the Hunter Valley with the kids? What activities did you get up to? Let me know in the comments.

Other posts you might like are How to Spend Three Glorious Days in the Blue Mountains and Connecting With Your Kids.

Bren x

We were having such a grand old time including some serious chair dancing to George Michael (RIP) when I was suddenly interrupted by a man who plonked himself a little too close to me. he proceeded to exclaim that all his friends were ‘boring’ and he’d been wanting to come and talk to me all night.

He told me he had decided to ‘just do it’. I’m pretty sure this wasn’t the idea Nike had in mind when formulating their famous line.

His proximity and presence immediately made me feel uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to be rude so I engaged in (awkward) chat with him. After ten minutes or so, our ‘decision-maker’ had revealed a complete imperviousness to cues, and I was becoming very uncomfortable.

What was my exit plan?

I didn’t want to be rude but I also wanted to get back to all the fun my friends were having without me.

I mouthed to one of my girlfriends for ‘help’ and she politely asked him to leave.

This situation left me to ponder what made this man think he had the right to impose on my personal space. More importantly, why did I let him and why did I feel so helpless? Unfortunately, many women I know have had far too much experience with these awkward encounters.

On reflection, I realized the reason I got myself stuck in this situation, was because of my upbringing which had taught me to:

• Always be polite;
• Never hurt other people’s feelings;
• Always give hugs and kisses to your aunties and uncles to make them feel validated, even if you don’t want to;
• Quash your voice and comply with what your parents tell you to do otherwise you will get into trouble.

My upbringing had led me to believe that at this moment I was not in control of my space, and what a dangerous message this is for kids to receive. This learned behaviour was also what I was instilling in my own children!

It impressed upon me the important responsibility we have to teach our children to protect their personal space and boundaries and give them the tools to deal with such situations.

When teaching manners to our kids we need to let them know that they have the right to say no and teach them the unemotional (yet firm) way to do so.

We need to include conversations about situations that make them feel uncomfortable. Listen to them and not judge their answers. Ask them what would have helped to make them feel more comfortable.

We should model firm and unemotional words whenever we feel uncomfortable in a situation, and ‘role play’ with our kids.

We need to encourage our kids to have a voice and practice expressing things they want, such as “I’d like to go to an Italian restaurant tonight”. Simple stuff, but it will make it easier to say ‘no’ when they don’t want something.

We need to teach our children not to feel guilty or impolite if they need to pull someone up for invading their boundaries or even to ‘push back’ if their requests are ignored.

We also need to teach our children how to respect other people’s personal space.

We can’t assume that our children will intrinsically understand these values, so it’s our job to teach them to be respectful to each other from a young age (and at any age).

It seems obvious that Mr. Space Invader may not have been taught how to respect a woman and her personal space and behave appropriately.

We can teach our children to politely ask someone’s permission before entering their personal space, and help them understand boundaries. “Do you mind if I borrow your pencil”, “Is it ok if I play with your soccer ball” (instead of just taking it), “Hi, my name is so & so, do you mind if I join you?

Also teach them to look beyond words and how to read body language signs, signals, and cues and what they might mean.

In my scenario, perhaps I could have simply said “thanks for stopping by for a chat, but I’m here to spend some time with my girlfriends and I’d like to get back to them”.

It’s never too late to learn or pick up a life skill.

I’ll certainly be taking my own advice here!