For our bodies and minds to function properly, the fuel we put into our bodies needs to be of the high-octane whole food and nutrient-dense variety, rather than the processed, packaged kind.

But there is far, far more to food than simply eating the stuff!

Using the ritual of meal time to bond as a family is one of the great joys of being a parent.

It’s that little window during the day (usually at the end) where the family as a unit is gathered in one place, and generally with undivided attention (hint: turn the TV off for best results). And when you can make yourself heard over some of the weird and wonderful snuffling, snorting noises that generally accompany kids and food, you can actually have a decent conversation. Maybe even find out a bit of ‘the goss’…

But more than that, it’s a time where subtle lessons can be taught and learned, and where the kids can find and appreciate themselves and others.

Here are some of the wonderful benefits of a simple, but regular, family meal time:

Family Time

Quality family interaction is so underrated! And can actually be a lot of fun (granted, not always).

Life’s busy, we all appreciate that, but a little bit of ritual doesn’t go astray. So sit down at a regular time, have a laugh and a joke, and have chat about what’s going on in each other’s lives (try not to lecture your kids about what they aren’t choosing not to eat). This sort of regularity forms strong bonds, strand by strand.

The routine of making time for each other also offers the opportunity to set an example and teach kids subtle lessons or life skills with undivided attention – about food, about manners, about connection, or just everyday issues.

Building Self Esteem

Being heard breeds confidence and self worth within a child. They intuitively understand they are valued for their conversation, thoughts and opinions, and by the very people who love them the most. This is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children.

This type of validation is more likely to encourage and equip them to speak more often in class and/or group situations.

Improved Linguistic Skills

Talking is a rather specific skill, believe it or not. When a child is allowed the space to really converse and express themselves, it helps them to develop their speech, vocabulary and conversational skills, build complex arguments and support their case fluently, and to organise their thoughts on the run.

Growing up with ethnic family and friends, it never ceased to amaze me how we could converse in our ethnic tongue so fluently and expressively, even if we couldn’t read it or write it. That was school’s job.

Language and Vocabulary Development

Language development, including slang and the common usage of words in their proper context helps to expand vocabulary, particularly of food & kitchen-related items (which is also a great benefit of letting children help in the kitchen). For younger children, saying a word as you engage in an action (like stirring or cutting) helps enhance their ability to infer.

Listening Skills

How many of us are good at this? I mean, truly? All of us need work in this area I would imagine, so why not expose the kids to this virtuous trait early on? Yeah, I know, it’s possibly harder than programming a Space Shuttle for NASA, especially when the little foghorns hit the volume, but we can only try.

Learning how to listen is an enormously beneficial cognitive tool, helping kids follow and engage in conversations as they extract and exchange important and/or interesting information. They learn the commonly accepted (or not, in some cases!) values of politely talking in turn and not interrupting excessively.

I’ll bet most people haven’t really thought about all these aspects of a simple family meal. And it’s not over thinking it either – all of these benefits happen daily to various degrees .So take advantage of meal times. While you’re busy having a bit of fun, you can also be mindful that your example and counsel spread out over the years actually mean something.

Do you have any rituals in your family? I’d love to hear from you.

Bren x

She had even chosen a topic that had been dear to his heart at the same age – dinosaurs!

Back then, as he had narrated many a time to a spellbound young girl thirsty for knowledge, he loved dinosaurs so much he had wanted to become an archaeologist. His sister even wanted to be a ‘digger lady’ to help him uncover the treasures buried by the sands of time.

Dinosaurs were it. Huge and ferocious, old and mysterious, and some a little dopey (like the Stegosaurus, or modern-day ‘Brother-o-saurus’). Daddy’s pipe cleaner versions of skeletons of ancient monsters such as Triceratops and T-Rex were famous (within the household, alas …), and they were sure to bring gasps of wonder from the assembled throng of Year Twos.

That was until Daddy was called upon unexpectedly to rescue Mr 9’s cricket practice  – cricket practice! – from the work commitments that had enveloped other fathers like the tentacles of a corporate squid.

Daddy wouldn’t be able to fulfil his promise that day, and no explanation of the needs of the many outweighing the needs of the few was going to cut it. Nor was the idea that we still had the weekend. Kids live in the now, and this was NOW!

As Daddy trudged off with a heavy heart, Mrs Chopped Liver (me) had some thinking to do. I knew that the art of distraction was a time honoured technique that was almost guaranteed results, but sometimes the transformation of a child’s mind from heart-set plans to a new activity wasn’t complete without a little more mental manouvering. Anything less than full focus on my part was fraught with danger, and I wanted to avoid Miss 7-osaurus turning the house into Jurassic Park.

And that’s when inspiration hit.

Spending time with the kids has been my developing mantra for next year, but starting now. However, while quality time and complete focus is one aspect of this (and rich with double-sided rewards), I remembered another technique we had used in the past, which worked beautifully, but which, as all parents know, can get blindsided by life’s demands like any good intention.

Child-centred play is a step up again from a parent giving their child full and undivided attention. The idea is not to ‘instruct’ the child, but to have them direct the play (or activity) completely for periods of 10-30 minutes.

This is harder than it sounds, because there are times when you either don’t feel like partaking in a particular activity, but have to run with it (watching my husband play along with craft-based play is a comedy all of its own). Even more difficult is catching your ‘helpful suggestions’ before they escape from your lips. Zip it! They’re running the show.

While my episode was an impromptu one, the best way to engage in child-directed play is to set a time for it, daily or otherwise. It can be surprisingly difficult to slot in regularly, but just watch them naturally fit into a timetable and crave it! In this way, you are giving your child positive and good-quality attention when you are able, making them less likely to demand it when you can’t.

It’s about stimulating the child’s creativity, sense of autonomy, leadership and teamwork all fused into one. The boost to their self-belief and esteem are quite striking, and who doesn’t want to see their child thinking confidently for themselves, making and rationalising decisions and even calculating the pros and cons of them?

Pretty soon we found ourselves making Orange Poppy Seed Cake, with Miss 7 driving the bus – collecting ingredients, measuring, calculating portions, pouring and stirring (with me adding advice only when asked, and only in a way that made her come up with the answer herself).

The result was a delicious cake that the whole family loved, and which also gave me breathing space for little-lunch snacks for school.

Child-centred play is a positive and rewarding relationship experience for both parents and children, generates a natural warmth and affection, and makes them feel ultra-special. And they kind of are, aren’t they?

Bren x