My husband and I definitely want them to have every opportunity to experience new things, and to enjoy the things they love to do, especially with their friends. But, we live in such a busy world and sometimes we feel like they are slipping away just a bit too much, just a bit too soon. That somehow in all the craziness of life the most important thing has been overlooked. FAMILY TIME.

The reality is that in our busy, stressed-out lives, our primal parenting instincts have been dampened, and we need to re-awaken them. According to physician, author and childhood development expert, Dr Gabriel Mate,

“For the first time in human history children are more influenced by their peers than by adults in their lives. And developmentally that’s a disaster.”

I don’t need to tell anyone how to attach to their kids, it’s our natural instinct.

But somehow, in so many ways, we are less and less available to our kids and we have lost sight of how important attachment actually is, leading them to looking elsewhere for attachment, usually their peer groups. Our kids need someone to connect with, ideally their family, and continue to need to stay attached right up until they turn into adults and especially through the tumultuous teenage years.

For my family, as much as we can, we connect by eating meals together, but hubby works long hours and often can’t join us. Then there’s homework, after school and weekend sports, hanging with friends and social activities and suddenly we have lost sight of when we were last all together, just us. But TIME is the one thing we need to build deep family connections, for bonding, attachment and sharing experiences we all love.

So when I announced last weekend that we would be having a FAMILY DAY, the teenager grumbled and gave me the bottom lip ‘cause he was invited to meet his mates for a round of golf (again). Part of me felt bad for holding him back (even though he’d just played the previous day), and whilst I almost waivered #mothersguilt, I stayed strong, knowing deep in my heart what was best.

Perhaps one of the most challenging part of having adolescents is finding opportunities to spend time with them and finding things to do that everyone will enjoy. We ended up going on a lovely, long walk through the Malabar Headlands, visiting the grandparents, and once home we all hopped into the kitchen for a two hour cooking session!

Did the kids bicker? As if I need to answer that!

Was the day perfect? Off course not!

Did we all still love the day? Absolutely!

And we all felt the beautiful deepening of our family bond.

Bren x

Connection has been something he as craved, but has found difficult to find outside of his family. Sometimes connection is even hard to find within your own family, but as parenting author and educator Maggie Dent says, “the great memories of our childhoods play an important role in our outlook on life….building memories that last occurs simply when we repeat significantly positive experiences“.

Through the ritual of cooking, a major point of connection for Orlando and I (I do not, and will not, play golf!) is the kitchen. For us, it’s a place where we can talk about life’s problems and stresses and fritter them away into the ether, to replace them with a sense of peace, joy and fun.

In the kitchen it’s just me, my son … and food!

Pic: Banana-Choc Cinnamon Icecream from Real Food For Hungry Teens

Everything just feels all right when we are in there together. It’s our own little club where we can relate and speak on the same level, try new approaches and create different taste sensations. I have the extra sense of smell, but he definitely has the highly evolved taste buds!

Sure, we’ll disagree on recipes from time to time (and can’t he put his foot down?!), but for the most part, our time spent together here is a very grounded and deep.

Food and nutrition has been an important part of my life since before he was born. I suppose it’s only natural that some of this will rub off on him, and he has certainly grown up to embrace my love of good food.
Pic: Hearty Black Bean and Sweet Corn Quesadilla

He trusts me enough to tell me when he’s indulged and made some poor choices (which happens more often as he gets more freedom and autonomy), even though he knows I won’t be that happy about it. I guess he feels he can confide in me because he knows the reason I won’t be happy is simply because I love him. I think he trusts me because he doesn’t feel judged, or that he’s let me down.

I do my best not to create fear around food, and the key (to me) is to not be judgmental. Who needs it, right?! It’s about teaching the right lessons and our kitchen experiences allow opportunities for explaining why good, real food is so beneficial. I find that accentuating the positives naturally draws us to positive habits. In doing so, I’m comfortable that I have given him the right set of tools to make the right choices, and can trust him to do so, even if he goes through the inevitable period of rebellion.

My son is big, bustling, sporty, developing and HUNGRY and needs as much nourishment as he can get. It’s critical for his development, but even more important is making sure it’s the right kind of nourishment – the kind that his body requires for sustainable, long term development.

So, this is why we decided to write a recipe book together. And it’s one of the most important things I’ve created in my work because my son and I created it together.

I know I will cherish the memory of this experience forever, as well as all our special moments in the kitchen. I have a feeling he will too.

When I tell him that one day his future wife will thank me for teaching him how to cook, and how lucky his own kids will be having a Dad who knows how to nourish them, he shoots me his proudest grin.

REAL FOOD FOR HUNGRY TEENS is the eBook we created together. We hope you love all the recipes and maybe even create beautiful long-lasting kitchen memories together.

About the eBook: Created by certified health coach, Brenda Janschek, and her hungry and creative son Orlando, this eBook contains a rich variety of over 20 nourishing, real food recipes designed to satisfy the tastebuds and growth requirements of developing teenagers.

Teenage years place a great burden on the body as it transforms into adulthood. These tasty recipes are designed to help our growing kids through this period of physical, emotional and intellectual upheaval with food that actually supports their accelerating growth, without simply resorting to a loaf of bread at each sitting.

You can purchase it here.

Melissa Ambrosini is a young, inspirational and kick-ass Holistic Health & Life Coach who has recently launched a successful e-book 12 Steps to Wellness complete with fantastic tips on how to lead a beautiful, nourished life.

Lately, I’ve become aware of lots of girls around me suddenly turning into teenagers and starting high school, changing friends, wearing make-up and shopping for cool clothes. I think Melissa is a great and aspirational role model for these girls, so I thought I’d do a quick interview with her to get some quick tips on how to handle some challenges these girls may face.

Tell me about yourself and your business. What made you start it, and what are its objectives?

My name is Melissa and I am a holistic health + life coach, speaker, writer, and self-love teacher. Four years ago, I was a model, dancer, presenter, and actress. But, after experiencing severe burnout and a cocktail of health issues, I realized that something had to shift. This led me to weeks in hospital where I decided I wanted to cure myself of adrenal fatigue and thyroid problems. Consequently, I became fascinated with holistic health. After practicing as a holistic health coach for a while, I realised that it’s not only about what you put in your mouth, it’s about the thoughts you think, moment-to-moment. I believe these go hand in hand. I want to inspire people to take back control of their health and life and live the life they have always dreamt of.

Given teenage years are a very important period for development and discovery, what would be your Top 7 health & lifestyle tips for teenagers?

• Don’t compare yourself to others. Remember: You are perfect exactly the way you are.
• Nourish your body with fresh, whole foods, green juice, filtered water, and clean food.
• Get active. But, make it fun. Take up a sport you enjoy with your friends. Move your body every day.
• Get loads of sleep and make it a priority.
• Practice self-love and self-acceptance.
• Be yourself.
• Play and have fun.

How important is a wholesome, healthy diet for teenagers in particular?

A wholesome, healthy diet is extremely important! Teen years are  when the hormones are going a little crazy so we need to make sure teenagers are really nourishing their bodies with clean food and lots of sleep.

What are your friendship tips for teenagers?

Don’t compare yourself to your friends. Just be you! Don’t be jealous or judgmental. Be happy for your friends and love them with all your heart.

In your opinion, are there things that teenage girls should avoid doing and thinking?

Avoid comparing yourself to others. This can lead to all sorts of silly decisions when you start comparing.

Teenage girls are at an age where they start to experiment with make-up. What is your point of view on commercial beauty products versus alternative?

I believe it’s our job to educate these beautiful young girls about why organic and natural skincare products are so important. If they don’t understand, they aren’t going to make the right choices. In saying that, I would really encourage these beautiful girls to let their real beauty shine and help them realise real beauty comes from within. It isn’t all about the makeup and clothes they wear.

What do you value most in life?

Living from my heart is what I value most in life.

Do you have any personal indulgences?

I love getting a massage, a mani, and a pedi. I also love making (and eating) my raw cacao bliss balls. Here’s the recipe http://pathtowellness.com.au/cacao-balls/

We love your style. What are your wardrobe staples and favourites?

Thank you that’s very sweet. I have a good pair of boyfriend jeans that you can dress up or down + loads of white, grey, and black  tees and singlets which go with everything.

Would you like to share your favourite healthy recipe?

I have so many favourite recipes. But, for a treat or dessert, I love making these raw chocolate cherry brownies http://pathtowellness.com.au/raw-chocolate-cherry-brownie/.

This protein power salad is great for lunch or dinner http://pathtowellness.com.au/protein-power-salad/.

Both these recipes are jam packed with superfoods, vitamins, and minerals + they taste delicious!

I am a fully qualified holistic health and life coach. I received my training from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. I was trained in over one hundred dietary theories and studied a variety of practical lifestyle coaching methods.

Drawing on this knowledge, I will help you create a completely personalised Path to Wellness that suits your unique body, lifestyle, preferences, and goals.

Connect with Melissa:

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