Need to cut down phone time?

There’s an app for that!

Since compiling this list I’m convinced there’s an app to address virtually every aspect of self-care!

No matter what your definition of self care, whether it be…

Taking 5 minutes to focus on your breath each day.

Meeting a friend for coffee.

Enjoying a regular pampering session.

Whatever decisions, actions and intentions helps to refuel your mind, body, soul just make sure you prioritise them because life is tough, and looking after your wellbeing is paramount.

Using apps is an easy, convenient, and affordable way to boost your mental and emotional health. 

Below are some favourites I researched and as voted by you! 

18 of the Best Self-Care Apps you need to try

1.Insight Timer

They have a free version and it has many different options for meditation styles, depending on what you may need that day. I personally recommend listening to Sarah Blondin.

2.Headspace

This one is definitely one of the most popular meditation apps around. It’s meditation made simple in just a few minutes per day. It also teaches you how to apply mindful techniques in different areas of your life.  It has a free 10-day basic series pack.

3.Vent

Vent is a social network for people to express their feelings and connect with people who care. Vent allows you to express yourself and to listen others during tough times. A safe space to vent anything without judgement from the understanding community.

4.Shine

A daily inspiration drop to brighten up your day. Who doesn’t need a bit of that?

5.Daylio

Best described as a mobile life or mood/habit tracking journal. Daylio allows you to keep a private diary without having to type a single line. You can also add notes and keep an old school diary. Free to download. 

6.Calm

A great app for meditation and sleep. Perfect for those anxious, monkey minds who find it hard to fall asleep at night and need some help to switch off.  There’s a couple of us at least in this house. Has a free trial.

7.Habitica

Habitica is a free habit-building and productivity app that treats your real life like a game. With in-game rewards and punishments to motivate you and a strong social network to inspire you, the aim is to help you achieve your goals to become fit, healthy and happy. Love this idea.

8.Moodspace

MoodSpace is a great app for mental health. It aims to create a self-help space where you have the opportunity to experiment with different treatment methods, in the form of interactive mood workouts, to see what works for you. 

These mood workouts are designed as short, habit building, self-help exercises that can be completed on your phone, at any time you choose and every workout is based on the latest research into depression treatments.

The Three Clouds (daily gratitude journal), Mindful Meditation and the Thought Diary (which challenges difficult thoughts) are popular activities.

9.Downdog

Down Dog is a free guided yoga app, providing a studio-like yoga experience in the comfort of your home and which fits perfectly with any schedule.

Each time you practice, Down Dog creates a brand new vinyasa yoga sequence so you won’t have to do the same routine over and over again. 

10.Sworkit

Offers an easy solution to fitness with guided workouts for any schedule, has personalised plans with useful guidelines for strength , cardio, yoga and stretch training, you can select a focused workout from within that category.  Offers a fun and effective way to fit in a workout on busy days or for the gymophobes amongst us.

11.J & J Official 7 minute app

Designed by an exercise physiologist and based on science-backed routine called interval training, combines aerobics and cardio for a great session you can do at home. Short workouts that get your heart racing.

12.Perspective

A free unique journaling app that captures your thoughts, moods, interests and habits. Then prompts reflection and insight to help you make personal discoveries

13.Woebot

This app, created by a clinical psychologist from Stanford University, makes mental health accessible to everyone. It helps people examine how they react to challenging situations and to think through them with step-by-step guidance using methods from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

14.Superbetter

Powered by the science of games, positive psychology and behaviour change, Superbetter is designed to increase your resilience and optimism and help you overcome difficult obstacles.

You’ll be challenged to complete different wellness tasks each day in the form of a game. SuperBetter takes a holistic approach to help with depression, anxiety, chronic illness or pain, and PTSD. Plus, it covers a wide range of topics including divorce, workplace issues, grief, and more.

15.Space

Space is the perfect app to help you break your phone addiction and find your phone/life balance. 

If you find your phone use to be disruptive and distracting you from people and things that are most important to you, this app is for you. 

16.Plant Nanny

Plant Nanny is a simple, cute little app that reminds you to drink water. Combining health with fun to remind you to drink water regularly.

17. Grateful: A Gratitude Journal

This app was created based off of research from Harvard Medical School that shows the link between gratitude and improved health and emotions. By posting daily journal entries in the app, you’ll practice gratitude daily and get the pick-me-up you need whenever you’re having a rough day.

18. Pillow

This app helps you track your sleep. Just put your phone next to your pillow when you sleep (on aeroplane mode of  course!) and it will analyze your sleep patterns based on your movements.

The next morning, Pillow will wake you up in the 30-minute window where you’re in light sleep and you’ll get detailed statistics of your sleep quality the night before.

And while the extra suggestions below aren’t apps, they are some pretty powerful  self -care tools.

Program

Break Through! Signature Cleanse

I created this program with Naturopath Naomi Judge to help women reset their hormones, get off the blood sugar rollercoaster, reduce inflammation, improve digestion, maintain a healthy weight and feel fantastic in a body they love!

Full of delicious recipes and lifestyle advice, The 28 Day Break Through! Signature Cleanse is a great way to increase energy and transform your body from the inside out by focusing on YOU. 

YouTube

Yoga with Adrienne

Free yoga videos on her website or YouTube. The yoga sessions are very manageable, around 30 minutes. Each day, there’s a theme, starting with practicing ease, practicing intention and so on.

Facebook

Red Table Talk

Jada Pinkett Smith, her daughter Willow, and mother Adrienne – three generations of women open their home for a series of candid conversations with family and friends. 

Websites

You Feel Like Shit

This game is designed to help you get through your busy day. It’s basically an interactive flowchart to help you practice self care. 

Do Nothing for Two Minutes

The name says it all.

Podcast

LiveAwake

The Live Awake podcast helps bring you back to your grounded centre through reflection and guided meditation.

Enjoy!

Have you used any of these apps? Do you have any other faves I can add to the list?

Just let me know in the comments.

Please go ahead and share this post and spread the self-care message and remember …

“the only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” – C. JoyBell C.

Bren x

Grab your FREE copy of my 'CALM YOUR CORTISOL' recipe book to soothe your cortisol and start your journey to high energy, fast metabolism, and feeling like yourself again!

As a mental health sufferer myself, I do find myself at times surrounded by darkness, but today I’m making a promise to shed a more positive light on mental health, to help reduce stigma around it and make way for more people to seek help and support.

You may have read my story of what triggered my acute anxiety, here’s my post if you’d like to read about it https://brendajanschek.com/…/my-painful-journey-to-motherho…/

The right tools, help and support helped me manage my anxiety, which I’m happy to say has allowed me to lead an independent, fulfilling and happy life, as well as contributing positively to lives in the community through my work.

Here are the wonderful tools which help me achieve this everyday…

♡ Self talk – when anxiety arises from a thought, I ask myself is this true or just a story I am telling myself? I soothe myself with comforting words. This really helps to reduce my anxious states.

♡ I eat a wholesome diet full of real foods to keep my body, mind and soul nourished and healthy and I do a deep cleanse twice a year which helps to remove the toxic build up of stress hormones cortisol and epinephrine.

♡ I exercise regularly, mostly in nature – some days my morning walks and exercise sessions feel like my lifeline.

♡ I relax on purpose – I do deep, mindful breathing and body scans in order to induce feelings of relaxation.

♡ I recognize my boundaries and say no – saying no has taken some practice over the years, but taking on too much is the quickest way for me to end up in a panic attack and breakdown. This benefits no one.

♡ I create a healing environment in my home by avoiding clutter, minimising noise and diffusing my pure essential oils.

♡ I tell my loved ones and dear friends when I’m not feeling well and need some extra support.

♡ I make sure I get enough sleep and maintain a calm sleeping environment by keeping mobile phones, computers, and televisions out of the bedroom.

♡ Most importantly, when my anxiety was initially triggered, I found a therapist to talk to who understood me 100% and set me on my healing path using Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. The tools I learnt during that year, I still use today, every day.

Bren x

Without elaborating on the entire experience, one of the things that I touched upon that led to my breakdown was my long and lonely experience with infertility. This story began 18 years ago, but is still as raw as when it first happened. Infertility is such a painful experience.

Around the age of 29, my husband and I we were ready for a baby. We fell pregnant very quickly, but just as quickly lost that baby at eight weeks, an experience which will stay with me forever.

We continued to try to fall pregnant after I had healed from the curette, but three months passed, then six months … hmmm, this was taking a while!

“It’s normal for it take up to a year”, the doctor and all the books said.

I distinctly remember how little comfort these assurances provided. Why did I fall pregnant so quickly initially, yet now it’s taking so long? It became the focus and obsession for me, but I chose to trust the experts and just keep trying and waiting.

Seven months passed, eight months, nine months … 12 months … 

The World Health Organisation’s definition of infertility states that infertility is “a disease of the reproductive system defined by the failure to achieve a clinical pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular unprotected sexual intercourse.”

Note: if you’re over 35 this changes to 6 months

Doctor after doctor had no explanation, tests came out normal, specialists reported nothing abnormal. Two years passed.

“You may want to consider IVF”. 

With a big black cloud hovering over my head,  I gathered my wits and started exploring my options, leading me to a Natural Fertility Centre in Woollahara. My allocated naturopath gave us a fertility plan, a new diet, a tonne of vitamins, and a new HOPE.

We followed everything they said to a T. No alcohol, organic foods only, no sugar, saliva ovulation testing to determine my most fertile time of the months, a gazillion vitamins a day …

Our naturopath sent us to their preferred specialists who did indeed find abnormalities with both my husband and I which were most certainly affecting our fertility. Why weren’t these picked up before? Frustration but still more hope …

But time kept ticking away and the recurring grief was almost too much to bear. I couldn’t see an end to it. The black cloud over my head was threatening to fall and envelop me. Three years now.

I was frustrated with an ovulation testing device which I found difficult to use, frustrated with the timed and mechanical sessions of lovemaking, not really knowing if we were exactly at the right point in the cycle for ovulation, confused about my moon cycle and the possibility of spontaneous ovulation. So much, confusion, so many tears.

All I wanted was a baby! Everyone else around me seemed to be conceiving with no problems. I was happy for them, but their terrific news just made me feel worse. Why was this happening to me?

Keep on trying I told myself, never give up hope. After operations for the both of us, I fell pregnant after three months. FINALLY I was pregnant again. But my God, the fear of losing this pregnancy engulfed me until nine months later our beautiful miracle boy was finally born. 

In hindsight, what I would have given to have had the testing options available today to help me from the start. I could have used something like the the babystart Fertility and Sperm Test to provide valuable insights into our fertility condition from a much earlier point, even pre-conception. We could have used this ovulation test to accurately identify the best days to conceive, rather than the other tools and thermometer which I found extremely frustrating and inaccurate.

I can’t imagine all the time we would have saved, and all the suffering we may have been spared. Sometimes, failing to fall pregnant isn’t ‘normal’, and the ‘she’ll be right, mate’, approach isn’t always comforting or productive (pardon the pun). There are times when couples will be alerted to irregularities that require further investigation, and opening up new lines of enquiry is best started earlier than later. It’s always best to know what your options are so that you can begin taking action if necessary.

I often talk about how this experience with infertility awakened my awareness of the healing capacity of nutrition and self-care. Its direct relationship to overall wellbeing has led me to do the work I do today. But do I wish it had been different? Absolutely. 

Hopefully, products such as the babystart ones will take out any guesswork for couples who are experiencing pregnancy difficulties, open up the options available to them from an early stage, and reduce the heartache associated with uncertainty. You can learn more about the babystart range here.

Bren x

This is a sponsored post by babystart. Please know that I will only ever share products or services on this website that I believe add value to the lives of this community. 

One minute I’m feeling happy, content, in flow, grateful and full of love, then something can happen and I feel fearful, anxious and totally STRESSED OUT!

Only yesterday, along with my partner Naturopath Naomi Judge, we were recording a webinar for the members of our Break Through! program, about the incredibly important area of stress.

We acknowledged stress is an unavoidable part of life and often out of our control. What we do have control over however, is reducing the amount of stress we experience and mitigating the harmful effects of the stress we just aren’t able to avoid.

Back to my last two days for a moment.

Well, let’s just say they’ve been ROUGH on a personal level!! And the stress of it all affected me on a physiological and psychological level. How do I know? Well I tuned into my mind and body and these were the things I noticed going on…

My muscles around my neck and shoulders were tight
I had headaches 
My tummy felt off
I was feeling exhausted
I was snappy
My breathing was shallow
My mind was catastrophising
Insomnia paid a visit
And I was just generally out of sorts

That’s a lot of symptoms right there!

It’s so easy to get stuck in our stressful situations and not allow ourselves to move on. Often we just don’t know how to move on. 

Our society doesn’t value self-care, so often we don’t have the tools to know how to deal with stress.

I didn’t allow myself to linger in my stressful place for too long as I would have once upon a time.

Awareness, consciousness and acknowledgment were the first steps in dealing with my stressful situation.

What did I do to ease my stress?  These small things helped me enormously…

Reached out to my husband for support
Called my brother for advice
Spoke to my mum for empathy
Observed my negative self-talk and gently changed it to positive self-talk
I took a nap (normally unheard of but I listened to my body and whilst napping my beautiful daughter took it upon herself to wash all the dishes in the sink. She sensed I needed some support)
Deep breaths
I may or may not have had a vodka on the rocks
I stayed in the moment rather than let my mind runaway with all the catastrophes it could think of
I went out for my morning walk and instantly felt my troubles wash away…here’s a pic…

Truth is, stress is wreaking havoc on our health in so many ways. It’s becoming chronic and prolonged and no amount of nutrient-dense food or supplements can save us.

It affects so many systems of our body, including our gut, it puts us at risk of various health and modern degenerative conditions like heart disease, diabetes, hypothyroidism and autoimmunity. It affects our physical body, our emotions and our psychology.  

Everything that happens to us has the potential to be a stressor. But we have control over this in the form of choice. We can reduce stress’s harmful affects by changing our attitude, improving our daily self-care routines and being mindful to avoid unnecessary stress.

Those stress management skills we acquire and implement, we need to start teaching them to our kids so that they will have healthy coping strategies to help them survive the rollercoaster of life. This will allow them to deal with stress in healthy ways and positively manage the inevitable stress that will turn up in their lives.

Bren x

Upcoming Mother’s day has got me thinking about the type of mum I am.

You see, I’m the type of mum who feels deep empathy with my children. Whatever troubles them, troubles me, whatever brings them joy, brings me joy…DEEPLY.

And their troubles, THEY GET ME BAD.

I’ve no doubt it’s because I live with anxiety, because I’m an empath, a highly sensitive mum… just like my mum.

I marvel and admire those mums who remain strong and stoic in the face of their kids adversities. That’s not to say they don’t care, no not at all, it’s just a whole different vibration.

All the while I’m crying, suffering, solving, waking in the middle of the night, feeling my kid’s pain and imagining them feeling their pain.

Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for this gift of experiencing life, and all it has to offer in this heightened state.

But it ain’t easy.

Especially those times when everything seems to comes at once. That’s when life feels like it’s going to break me, just like it did before.

But these days, life doesn’t break me. I pick myself up everytime.

Which got me thinking about why and how I do this now?

The answer was right there. It was nothing profound.

But it made me see myself, and all the things I do, to keep me stable and able to cope with life’s challenges and realities.

The little habits and rituals, non-negotiables, my little self-care box which helps me cope with life, in light of who I AM and how I vibrate as a person.

These rituals help me cope with those sleepless nights, to show up most days with a smile on my face, to find the strength to allow my children some space to unravel the complexities of life and build resilience.

So I thought I’d write a little poem to myself this Mother’s Day, acknowledging all those things I do, which help me show up each day in the best way I can.

THANK YOU ME

Thank you nature, you give me so much – your healing sun, fresh air, silence, reflection and earthing all uplift my soul keeping me grounded and centred

Thank you body for moving daily, exercising, keeping me strong and releasing my happy hormones

Thank you food for flooding my body with goodness with every bite and sip, cleansing and detoxifying, nourishing and healing

Thank you me for not trying to do it all, knowing all too well that burnout is at bay

Thank you work for fulfilling my soul and connecting me to my purpose each day

Thank you friends for the dinner catch ups, the laughs, love and cocktails recharge me

Thank you me for creating solitude and space which I desperately need to replenish and refresh my soul

Thank you breath for slowing me down, bringing me back to the moment, keeping me alive, I’d be totally lost without you

Thank you family for your uncondtional love, trust and forgiveness, snuggles, kisses, pure joy and everything you teach me

Thank you healers for keeping me balanced and in touch with the inner workings and needs of my body

Thank you me for striving to be the best mum you can be, ever evolving, changing, growing and loving

Happy Mother’s day mums.  I know motherhood can be such a struggle for so many. Perhaps the best gift you could give yourself for Sunday is a little thank you acknowledgement too.

I’d LOVE to hear the things you can thank yourself for, please go ahead and write to me in the comments.

Bren x

Everyone’s journey to parenthood is unique and different and I support PERINATAL DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY AWARENESS  (PANDA) to encourage parents, both old and new, to speak out and begin honest conversations about parenthood in the hope of encouraging others who may be suffering to reach out and ask for help.

Here’s my story……

After a difficult pregnancy due to pubic symphisitis (read: very painful!), a low lying placenta, and significant weight gain, here I am out to dinner with my husband and friends, on the night I went into labour. Little did I know how my life was going to change beyond what I could ever imagine.

Labour came on fast and furious, intense contractions straight away and without much warning. Almost a metaphor for how motherhood ensued.

Nothing to worry about though, I was ready, wasn’t I? All those natural birthing classes I had attended, and “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” was my bible. I had this in the bag.

But what I got was 26 hours of excruciatingly painful, drug-free (except a bit of gas) labour, a cervix that wouldn’t dilate, a baby who was completely stuck and what followed with an emergency C-section. Six hours after his birth, my baby developed pneumonia (because they left me dilated too long before conducting the caesarian) and was whisked away into intensive care.

I did not get to feed him, hold him, soothe him until a week after his birth. This wasn’t in the plan.

I will never forget the night, maybe three nights later, when I received a call from the nurse in intensive care asking my permission to allow her to give my baby the dummy. He was crying inconsolably, she said, and she needed to try to soothe him. I could hear his wailing in the background.

This was the moment I broke, the memory is still so raw I’ve got tears streaming now. I had lost control of everything I had dreamed of, the easy conception, the natural birth, the bonding, the breastfeeding. These seemed nothing more than idealised fantasies when now, it was down to a piece of plastic to do the job of soothing my baby who was in distress, and I could do nothing about it.

Wasn’t it enough already that it took me 4 painful years to be able to hold this miracle child in my arms?

So there I was in hospital hand pumping milk from my breasts in the hope of getting that life-giving colostrum into my child. All the while well- meaning visitors were stopping by mid-pump, to offer their congratulations. It wasn’t long before I started to fall apart.

Let’s just say from woe to go,  breastfeeding was a complete disaster. The fact that my son wasn’t able to go on the breast straight after birth made breastfeeding that more challenging. Think cracked, bloody, painful nipples for want of trying, and add to that an over-supply of milk which caused my let downs to force milk down his throat like a fire hydrant going off. And I would have at least 5 let downs each side. I ended up pumping milk 5 times a day for that first year, pumping, washing, sterilising, repeat…

Once home my baby just didn’t sleep, he had reflux and was irritable most of the time (who could blame him), in fact he was the opposite of everything those evil textbooks told me he would be. Soon I found I was completely dreading getting out of bed and I didn’t want to see my baby. I felt completely lost and alone, confused and deeply depressed. I had also developed acute insomnia and extreme anxiety.

Perinatal anxiety and depression does not discriminate – it affects people across all communities regardless of age, income or geography, and the way people are affected is not black and white. And it got me bad.

Within a few weeks I realised I wasn’t going to survive this dark place I had descended into. Gathering up all of my courage, I set forth to find the answers to end my pain and suffering and make me feel myself again and turn up each day to be the mother of my child.

I thank God for the psychiatrist who treated me from the Anxiety Clinic at St Vincents Hospital in Sydney. She was my saviour, somebody who instantly understood who I was and what I was experiencing. She took me in and taught me tools, insights and techniques which led to my healing. It was hard work, but I got there, and till this day I use the tools she taught me to lessen the hold that anxiety threatens to have over me.

After my first meeting with my psychiatrist, she told me it was her goal to get me wanting to have another baby, to which I instantly replied, ” Never and not on your life”. Yet much later on, on our final session, I recall taking her in a bunch of roses, thanking her for everything she had done for me and sharing the news that I was indeed, pregnant!

Here I am 15 weeks pregnant, this time I did not have to wait to be able to conceive….

….. the birth went smoothly and it was natural and I got to hold my little girl in my arms straight away. Breastfeeding was still a challenge due to my over-supply, so by three months I was doing the pump routine again, but I didn’t spiral into depression and severe anxiety this time around.

I was ok. I am more than ok and my kids and I are doing great.

If anyone out there is reading this and can relate, please know you don’t have to suffer in silence. Reach out to a friend, family member, doctor, if they don’t understand then find someone else to talk to. Please consider calling PANDA,  what they have to offer is truly wonderful.

 Bren x

This week I’d like to show my support for Perinatal Depression and Anxiety Awareness Week, and to encourage parents to reach out and ask for help, and for friends, families, doctors, communities to open their hearts and listen with understanding. We need to start having honest conversations about parenthood.

Today I’d like to share with you Bec’s Story:

In August 2012 Louis was born four weeks early. He and I certainly faced the standard gamut of newborn challenges – reflux and feeding every 3 hours he wasn’t able to breastfeed (as a premature baby).

It was at around 6 weeks old that the wheels metaphorically “fell off” for me. It happened rapidly and severely over a period of about 72 hours.  As a professional I was previously accustomed to – perceptibly – being in control of much in my life; I wasn’t aware of what was unfolding.

I found myself laying on my back at the local park, pram in tow, unable to get up. That initial call to my Mum was not just physically hard but mentally challenging. All I could think was “how do I tell the woman who raised two children without wavering that I’m not able to do the role after 6 weeks. I learned straight away the value of straight talk and to dismiss the instinct to try and mask the struggles of reality. From here on we began educating one another while she creating a sense of normality in what was an extremely abnormal circumstance to me.

For the next 6 months I did not drive my car, my husband struggled as he worked from home trying to hold down a demanding CEO role, as I required someone with me twenty four hours a day as a result of acute anxiety. I would regularly start my day as late as 4pm. My husband carried out the morning routine and would often be up for feeds at 2am and be tapping away on his laptop to stay afloat at work.

A combination of support from family, friends, a psychiatrist, psychologist, an amazing GP and patience and determination to change things, great improvement followed but it took time.

Two things that came into my life that were pivotal in shifting my anxiety into confidence were the Anglicare program, Little Oaks, and my employment with lululemon athletica. The Little Oaks program was a one of its kind in South Australia where mothers and their children interact in a safe and supportive environment. Qualified professionals convened the group then see to the children freeing up the mums to engage in morning tea, conversation and structured creative and journaling activities. This became a beacon in my week. It peeled away layers of isolation and gave me insight into my situation.

The confidence I re-established over the program’s 16 weeks took me from thinking I’d never gain employment again to becoming a leading part of a global company. The key for me was making the choice to be completely transparent with my employer and in turn being afforded respect, development opportunities and trust.

While now PND is always with me it shines a light on things that aren’t necessarily serving me in my life giving me the opportunity to alter my thoughts, outlook, and approach to circumstances. Anxiety, for me, has been reduced om severity and duration by being open and honest with myself and those who understand me. Learning to identify challenges or triggers and have “tools in your tool box” to apply to situations is a valuable asset.

I think that with a positive perspective anything is possible; it may just take some time.

If you know a new parent, take a moment this week to check in with them and ask how they are going. Parenthood can be really tough and parents need to know that it’s ok to reach out for help. For support, please call PANDA’s National Helpline on 1300 726 306 Mon-Fri 10-5pm AEST or visit www.panda.org.au

And luckily I’m one of them!

Last week I had the pleasure of attending the 10th annual ‘Happiness & Its Causes’ conference which saw the world’s brightest minds in psychology, science, education, business, religion and the arts come together to educate and inspire thousands of people at Sydney’s beautiful Luna Park. I also had the good fortune to hear the Dalai Lama speak those inspiring words above and so many more.

On reflection, His Holiness took me back to when I was 18yrs old and and had decided that my life’s course would see me striving for love, connection, compassion, empathy, purpose and happiness. Without doubt, this path has been circuitous, and continues to experience curve balls, but his words reignited my trust and belief in human nature and what we can collectively achieve. And just maybe that means happiness too!

Charlie Scudamore, principal at Geelong Grammar is another exemplary human who is fighting for happiness. He has introduced Positive Psychology to his school and is passionate about finding what he and other teachers can do to improve the lives of children.

Mr Scudamore says.

“We would like to make the world a more peaceful and kinder place,”

In our affluent nation, there are so many young people with eating disorders, depression, anxiety, stress.

However, there are many schools around the world who are beginning to embed positive psychology in their curriculum. “We teach it as a subject, alongside mathematics and history,” he says. Thinking back, I reckon I could have used one of his positivity classes after a double period of maths!

He believes, and I agree, that education has been hijacked by too much assessment. He states that while it’s good to have academic success, the ‘developed countries’ have lost their way by focusing too much on outcomes and less on positive well being. Mr Scudamore’s focus is on creating  positive communities through our schools, classrooms, families and organisations by focusing on wellbeing. Specifically, he believes these 5 things can help shape positive communities:

• Trust
• Compassion
• Integrity
• Forgiveness
• And above all else, HOPE

He believes that if our children leave school with a developed sense of co-operation, kindness, and doing good things for other people, the world just may end up being a better place.

Both speakers believe that modern education has a strong orientation towards materialism and that we  need to question whether this will result in positive human beings and bring happiness to people.

“A materialistic life is no guarantee for inner peace or inner happiness, yet inner peace is the ultimate source of a happy life”

And one of my biggest a-ha! moments occurred with the realisation that self-care and self-worth wasn’t some new-age indulgence at all. It makes a whole lot more sense to regard taking care of oneself as something we owe to ourselves, to society and our communities.

“Micro moments of connection are not just about our own health, but also about the other person we are connecting with…..Working on yourself is not hedonistic, rather self-improvement will ripple out affects to the next person and then the community”

So it seems the secret to happiness for us and our children doesn’t lie in the latest iPad or Netflix (as fun as they can undoubtedly be), but rather lies in being loving and compassionate human beings, connectedness, self improvement, service to society, mindfulness and love.

Bren x

A large part of that in modern society relates to body image – helping our little girls feel confident and worthwhile in their own skin. Women always seem to be under pressure to look their best, and quite often the ideal presented by airbrushed magazine models is potentially dangerous to how we view ourselves (and our heath). Our girls need to know the reality.

From a very young age girls are exposed to music videos, fashion magazines, Barbie dolls, advertising and TV shows that focus on appearance. The ideal image the media bombards us with is the skinny supermodel or actress, who’s image has most likely been manipulated to within an inch of it’s life. My fear is that this creates the unnecessary expectation of body image, setting them up for disappointment, low self-esteem, or even depression and eating disorders. In other words, failure by someone else’s rules.

But make no mistake, we are our little girls most important role models. They are listening when we talk about our (and other’s) bodies. They notice when we diet and how often we do so,  and this will become their reality too…

Our daughters need to know that true beauty lies within, and that they are respected and loved by their family and friends for who they are, not how they look.

My mother was very focused on her appearance, and knew that Dad liked his women skinny. I don’t recall specific negative self-talk about her body, but she seemed to be perpetually on a diet and certainly appearance was a hot topic on everyone’s lips at get-togethers. It’s a habit even amongst my own peer groups today, to the point where it’s almost a ‘conversation-padder’ like the weather. It wasn’t long before I was on the Weight Watchers bandwagon, beginning the diet merry-go-round which included diet pills at one point as appetite suppressors.

In my own home we don’t talk about our bodies in context of weight or shape. Rather, our bodies are strong, flexible or fit, and we like to explain how ‘moving our bodies’ makes us feel healthy and happy. It’s all about body function in our household, and proper nutrition and exercise takes care of that. We also don’t keep any scales, fashion magazines, watch video clips or the like around the house. However, Amercian sit coms are worryingly entering our zone, so it’s time to be vigilant!

As much as I try to protect my own daughter from this sort of exposure, this is the real world. The best I can do is to instill the values that I think will build a resilient woman who is confident and happy in herself.

Some tips:

– communication is crucial- explain how photos are manipulated, and why

– avoid emotive descriptions such as ‘fat’ or ‘thin’ and emphasise the benefits of a nutritious diet and exercise regimen for positive well being

– teach our girls to appreciate what our bodies can do, not just how they look

– focus on other factors other than appearance – effort, skill, positive personality traits and achievements

– draw attention to inspiring role models

– explain how sports and exercise clear the mind, and reduce stress and anxiety and highlight the good feelings produced after exercise and when eating a
nutritious diet

– explain how sport and recreation connects you with nature (surfing, rock climbing), or how Nippers (surf life saving) gives you confidence and skills, while connecting you to your community

Above all, I want to be a positive role model for my daughter, and I am in the best place to do it! My 8yr old knows I am passionate about healthy food and exercise, but she doesn’t even imagine it is born of wanting my body to look a certain way. She knows it’s because I want to feel a certain way – healthy!

I have worked hard throughout life on acceptance and self love, and finally in my 40’s I have not dieted in years! It’s funny in a way that the process of eating properly gives you the results that dieters search for, the difference being that one is sustainable as a way of life, and the other is temporary.

I am healthy and happy, and I hope that’s how my daughter will be, not just in her 40’s, but from today onward.

Bren x

It is a commonly held belief that our bodies and minds are two very separate entities, functioning independently of each other. This is unfortunate, as well as being counterproductive to good, holistic health because it could not be further from the truth. In reality, our bodies and our minds are closely linked and are very much co-dependent.

As an experienced clinical psychologist, I have spent many years helping people manage any mental health issues they may face. I have always emphasised to my clients that a healthy mind cannot be achieved without a healthy body, but it wasn’t until I began my own journey into truly healthy eating that I realised just how important it was. It was at this point I realised that purely addressing mental health issues is a limiting exercise.

By way of example, bring to mind an event from your life that has a strong emotion attached to it – it could be anxiety, sadness, joy, anger – now hold that image in your mind and tune into the sensations within your body. Now notice where that emotion exists in your body and how it feels.

Emotions do not exist only in our minds, they live in our bodies. Anxiety, depression, anger, trauma, they all reside in our bodies and it is usually the sensations within our body that are the most distressing parts of these experiences. Think of common phrases we use to describe emotional experiences – ‘gut wrenching’, ‘broken hearted’, ‘like a weight being lifted off my shoulders’ – they all describe sensations within our bodies.

When we aim for overall wellbeing, we need to consider both physical and mental health. You can’t have one without the other. If we are trying to manage and heal mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, stress, trauma, even bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, we will be most successful if we combine some form of therapy (always with someone registered, qualified and suited to your individual needs) with a diet that ensures our bodies are well nourished and functioning optimally (and yes, therapy may include medication).

Poor nutrition and consuming additive-laden processed ‘foods’ (though some barely warrant that description) add an extra burden to our bodies that are already struggling to cope with the issues that we are dealing with. These food choices can contribute to lethargy, insomnia, anxiety, mood problems, headaches and hyperactivity, to name just a few. In short, building from a shaky base is counter-productive, and unlikely to produce best results.

When we choose unprocessed wholefoods, good quality fruit, vegetables, proteins and healthy fats (coconut oil, olive oil, avocado etc) our bodies and brains are comprehensively nourished. It’s no surprise, then, that they function better, which improves our sleep, our immune system, our energy levels, and ability to cope more readily with anger, anxiety or stress.

We can be proactive with our own mental health by controlling what we put into our bodies and noticing how it makes us feel (energetic, focused, anxious, lethargic). We can certainly observe the behavioural changes in our children based on what they have eaten, while recognising that their formative years are crucial to their future physical and mental well being. We need to make sure they are equipped with the solid foundations of health that give them the best opportunity at a long and enjoyable life.

Irrespective of our past diets, upbringing and experiences, we need to recognise there is a lot we can be doing immediately to ensure that our minds and bodies, and those of our children, are working as nature intended – cohesively rather than combatively.

 Monique Phipps is a Clinical Psychologist with 13 years experience and a mum of 3 young children. Her family eat an additive free, wholefood diet.

You can connect with her on her Facebook Page and blog.