When I’m not cooking, cleaning, raising my family, running them all over town or running my business, I love playing dress up!

Note: All the looks in this post are by Shop With FiFi who breathed life into the old clothes in my wardrobe.

Here’s a Sass & Bide dress I picked up on sale a few years ago teamed with my very old, gold Missoni for Target to wear to a “no stilettos allowed” 50th birthday party I’m going to on Saturday night!

Even if it’s just to follow my son during a round of golf, or on the sidelines of my daughter’s netball game, and certainly when I’m out to lunch with my girlfriends, or on a (rare) dinner date with the hubby, I like to feel confident, chic and effortless in whatever I’ve thrown together.

FiFi foraged around and threw together this cosy, comfy yet chic casual look for Winter

Teamed with this old Witchery jacket for when I’m standing at Heffron Netball Courts, otherwise known as the coldest place on earth, watching my daughter in the Winter time. FiFi tip: Jean cuffs should hit the top of the boot!

But usually at the start of a new season, I’m like a deer in headlights staring at my wardrobe, and I know it sounds like #firstworldproblems, but I almost dread getting dressed for the day.

There’s just too many clothes all crammed in together and I don’t  have time to rifle through so I make do with the Same.Old.Looks #boring

Know the feeling?

A wardrobe detox and styling session is up there as one of my favourite forms of self-care, I’m always left feeling refreshed, fulfilled, confident and so good that I’ve treated myself to something fun.

The other option for the “no stilettos” 50th birthday party on Saturday night, but I might save this one for a dinner date with hubby.

It’s had been a couple years since my last wardrobe detox, and desperate to pare down to basics, streamline and style, I remembered a super-lovely and super- stylish lady I’d met at a friends birthday drinks who was a personal stylist and shopper, and that was FiFi from Shop with FiFi and The FiFi Report.

I highly recommend following FiFi on instagram for all her current fashion tips from ‘luxe to less’. 

So I got FiFi around to unlock some of the dark secrets of my wardrobe on a search-and-destroy mission and a mercy dash to search-and-accessorise and we’re going to follow this up with a shopping spree too (blog post to come).

“I want you to love your wardrobe and get dressed effortlessly and easily in the morning’ – FiFi

And that’s what FiFi has done for me.

Personal shopper/stylist, FiFi totally understood my lifestyle required mainly casual looks and she was determined to style looks for me she was certain I’d wear

Two garbage bags full later and endless looks styled to fit my brief, I’m strutting my stuff down the street as though I’m Naomi Campbell ?That’s truly how good I feel!

Below are a few more looks I love ….

I can’t wait for  Stage 2, when FiFi takes me shopping for a few missing items which will just make getting dressed each day even more effortless.

Do you have a favourite look FiFi put together for me? Let me know in the comments! 

You can follow FiFi at Shop With FiFi here.

Bren x

Grab your FREE copy of my 'CALM YOUR CORTISOL' recipe book to soothe your cortisol and start your journey to high energy, fast metabolism, and feeling like yourself again!

Are they exhausted, getting sick, falling apart, over it! It’s such a tough time of year.

Last week my daughter woke up, practically slept walk out of her room with big bags under her eyes and for the first time ever asked if she could have a day off school.

She told me later that day that she was surprised that I agreed to her taking a “wellbeing day” but I explained that I could see that she desperately needed that day, a day away from addition and subtraction, all the noise and school yard politics…

She stayed home and played the piano, watched her favourite shows, ate her favourite food, read books and lazed about all day. By the time evening rolled around she was herself again, pepped up and ready for her nippers training session.

I had given my daughter permission to relax every fibre of her being and, in doing so, reclaim her fight.

And that’s something I’ve found about self-care, we often need someone else to jump-start it for us.

Giving ourselves permission — to rest, to recharge, to realize self-indulgence isn’t actually self-indulgent at all.

This is a concept I know is especially hard for women.

We ALL need to remember to exhale….we’re all pushed to do too much, we all need a break. Kids and parents alike.

We don’t want our kids to learn from us that they have to work their butts of all the time until they burn out. We want them to tune in to what they really need and grant themselves permission to take a break.

As busy mums though, how do we take time out when we don’t seem to have five minutes to ourselves from sunrise to sunset?

Let me ask you an important question.

Has your busy-ness become the thing that defines you? Has it become a badge of honour?

Our culture has decided that we need to be Wonder Women and so we believe that being busy is what makes us worthy.

We need to SHAKE THIS IDEA OFF!

Because while we remain slaves to our to-do lists and exist in get-it-done mode, we are forgetting to live a meaningful and healthy life meant to be enjoyed.

How do I shake it off though Brenda? Who’s going to get it all done for me?

Well, I suggest you take a good look at your to-do list and make some honest decisions about what’s really non-negotiable and what you can say bye-bye to. Eg: Do you really need to organise those birthday photos into a special album? Or go to that event if no one is going to get hurt by your absence?

And/or..

Find some support in the areas you feel like you could use some help, then decide who you can ask to support you in those areas. Eg: My mum comes over once every fortnight and I never say no to her bringing food for my family which usually lasts a couple days and creates some much needed time and space. Say YES to help!

I’d also love to invite you to join my FREE LIVE WORKSHOP which I host with Naturopath Naomi Judge on what we consider to be the most important topic when it comes to Women’s health and wellbeing – and that’s the importance of self care.

After all, having too little rest is a major contributor to expanding that waistline, IBS, gas, bloating, headaches, depression, heart problems, decreased sex drive ……

WHY YOU NEED TO LEAVE GUILT AT THE DOOR AND EMBRACE SELF-CARE
Learn to love, nourish and respect yourself with these 5 smart habits

In this workshop we explore: 

• Where this guilt comes from and why we feel it (so important to recognise this so you can move on).
• How lack of self-care creates stress and some serious health issues you shouldn’t ignore.
• How you can get clear on a specific, urgent WHY, your sense of purpose, your capacity to fulfil your mission and do what brings you joy.
• The telltale signs of stress (it’s not necessarily what you may think!).
• 5 easy ways to create sustainability and resilience in your life so you don’t become ill and burn out (this is gold!).
• Plus there’s a Q & A with us at the end.

Please share this workshop with your friends, I have a sneaking suspicion they’ll be thanking you later!

Bren x

Grab your FREE copy of my 'CALM YOUR CORTISOL' recipe book to soothe your cortisol and start your journey to high energy, fast metabolism, and feeling like yourself again!

 Guest post by Sylvia Puentos

To me, the word failure is highly charged and disturbingly absolute. To fail means that you are wrong; that you are inadequate, incompetent or ‘not enough’. A 2014 study found that 70% of parents feel judged regularly by others around them, including by strangers. As yet, there are no statistics on how many of us judge ourselves, nor how often we turn our criticism inward because of some perceived lack of parenting ability.

We, as a society, have created a false ideal around raising children; we have come to believe that there are set guidelines to being an effective parent. That there is a ‘right’ way. According to this learned limitation, if we can simply recognize where we are failing in our role as a parent (or if we are told by others) then we can find ways to fix it.

But what if it doesn’t have to be this way? What if we were willing to confront the idea that failure doesn’t actually exist?

Failure is a fabrication of society and it is built around an ever-changing set of ideals. (That which was regarded as good parenting a century ago may be maligned today, and vice versa.) When we buy into failure it sticks with us and it creates a vortex of wrongness. Just like digging a hole, it is easy to fall so deep into a spiral of judgement and perceived failure that it is almost impossible to climb back out.

One of the most important things we can understand as parents is that our offspring learn how to ‘be’ in this world, through observation and example. When children observe their parents struggling with the rightness and wrongness of their role – when they watch mothers and/or fathers succumb to judgement from self and others – they, too, learn to approach life in this way.

It is in this way – by mimicking the behaviors of their parents – that children learn to judge themselves as ‘wrong’ or ‘a failure’ when they make a not-so-good choice or decision.

But what if we could learn to function as parents (and role models) from a place of allowance and kindness toward ourselves? What if, instead of measuring our choices and behaviours against a social ideal, we came to view parenting as an exploration. In this way, poor choices are not failings on our behalf – they are opportunities to learn more about what we would like our life (or our relationship with our children) to look like, and what we would like to change.

Parenting as an exploration

When we accept that parenting is an exploration, we remove any concept of success or failure. An explorer has not failed if their trekking brings them to an impassable river. It is simply a sign that the current direction is not working; they will need to adjust to venture further. So it is with parenting.

From this space, one of consideration and allowance, we become more open to the actual needs of our children. Specifically, without the fear of perceived failure, it is easier to choose:

Are you willing to be a bad parent? Are you willing to choose what you feel is best for you and your family, despite what social expectations may dictate?

Are you willing to be vulnerable in front of your children? Are you willing to see your child’s contribution to the family as equal to your own? Are you willing to empower them by asking questions?

Are you willing to listen to your children? Parents often talk too much and many press their own perspective – what is right, wrong or acceptable – onto the child without any acknowledgment of the child’s awareness.

Are you willing to give your child whatever space they require, even if they choose silence? Often all that is required for a child to find solutions to their challenges is the space to explore their own perspective and capabilities. What if as a parent, you made sure to say “You’re an amazing being and you are gift to the world?”

When we, as parents, are willing to step into a kinder and more accepting view of ourselves, we offer an incredible gift to our children: the ability to live, learn, explore, strive and fall without ever judging themselves as wrong, inadequate or a failure.

Five questions you can ask when you feel like you have failed:

1. According to who am I failing?
2. Where did I buy the notion that I have to be perfect?
3. What if I have been doing the best I can, with the tools I have?
4. What’s right about me I’m not getting?
5. What is it that I know that is best for my child/family that I haven’t acknowledged?

About Sylvia Puentes: As an Author, Certified Facilitator of Access Consciousness®, Right Voice For You® Facilitator, Educator Empowerment Coach, International Speaker and Trainer, Sylvia Puentes contributes to people of all ages by sharing tools and techniques that can transform any area of life. Her work also includes courses in Public Speaking, Leadership and Employee engagement. Her kind presences creates a space of ease in working with individuals and groups to clear limitations and open the door to endless possibilities.   

One minute I’m feeling happy, content, in flow, grateful and full of love, then something can happen and I feel fearful, anxious and totally STRESSED OUT!

Only yesterday, along with my partner Naturopath Naomi Judge, we were recording a webinar for the members of our Break Through! program, about the incredibly important area of stress.

We acknowledged stress is an unavoidable part of life and often out of our control. What we do have control over however, is reducing the amount of stress we experience and mitigating the harmful effects of the stress we just aren’t able to avoid.

Back to my last two days for a moment.

Well, let’s just say they’ve been ROUGH on a personal level!! And the stress of it all affected me on a physiological and psychological level. How do I know? Well I tuned into my mind and body and these were the things I noticed going on…

My muscles around my neck and shoulders were tight
I had headaches 
My tummy felt off
I was feeling exhausted
I was snappy
My breathing was shallow
My mind was catastrophising
Insomnia paid a visit
And I was just generally out of sorts

That’s a lot of symptoms right there!

It’s so easy to get stuck in our stressful situations and not allow ourselves to move on. Often we just don’t know how to move on. 

Our society doesn’t value self-care, so often we don’t have the tools to know how to deal with stress.

I didn’t allow myself to linger in my stressful place for too long as I would have once upon a time.

Awareness, consciousness and acknowledgment were the first steps in dealing with my stressful situation.

What did I do to ease my stress?  These small things helped me enormously…

Reached out to my husband for support
Called my brother for advice
Spoke to my mum for empathy
Observed my negative self-talk and gently changed it to positive self-talk
I took a nap (normally unheard of but I listened to my body and whilst napping my beautiful daughter took it upon herself to wash all the dishes in the sink. She sensed I needed some support)
Deep breaths
I may or may not have had a vodka on the rocks
I stayed in the moment rather than let my mind runaway with all the catastrophes it could think of
I went out for my morning walk and instantly felt my troubles wash away…here’s a pic…

Truth is, stress is wreaking havoc on our health in so many ways. It’s becoming chronic and prolonged and no amount of nutrient-dense food or supplements can save us.

It affects so many systems of our body, including our gut, it puts us at risk of various health and modern degenerative conditions like heart disease, diabetes, hypothyroidism and autoimmunity. It affects our physical body, our emotions and our psychology.  

Everything that happens to us has the potential to be a stressor. But we have control over this in the form of choice. We can reduce stress’s harmful affects by changing our attitude, improving our daily self-care routines and being mindful to avoid unnecessary stress.

Those stress management skills we acquire and implement, we need to start teaching them to our kids so that they will have healthy coping strategies to help them survive the rollercoaster of life. This will allow them to deal with stress in healthy ways and positively manage the inevitable stress that will turn up in their lives.

Bren x

As a mumpreneur, my focus had shifted to more immediately necessary  things – raising my family, preparing meals, after school activities and events, creating and building my business. You know how it goes. I used to love fashion, my clothes, and getting dressed for the day. When did it get so hard? Where did that girl go? I miss her.

It was time to call in the expert. Lucky for me my bestie is Dijanna Mulhearn from Wardrobe 101. She is no stranger to my frenzied texts the night before an event desperately seeking styling advice. So we struck a deal: in exchange for her fashion education, Dijanna asked me to show her the easy way to good health through food.

It struck me that if Dijanna and I were having this food/fashion struggle, then possibly you might be too. And when I asked you the question on Facebook, it your replies confirmed my suspicion. It seems to be a universal issue.

So this post is the first in a fun series exploring some easy fashion and food fixes, and allows us to remember that it’s healthy to indulge in a bit of self care and self love.

Click on the video as we set up our challenge – Dijanna shares a quick fashion tip and gets a taste of a delicious quick snack for her efforts. (We’ll work on video length and blurriness factor for the next ones!)

You can find the full recipe for Brenda’s Brekky Ball here

Dijanna’s fussy eater 7yr old not only loved Brenda’s Brekky Ball, but shared some with his mates who have sent an order through for some more 🙂

What are your fashion/food woes? We’d love to hear from you and address your stresses!

In the next installment of Food versus Fashion, Dijanna finds a little gem in my wardrobe and proceeds to show me how easy it is to create three different looks with this single piece. And I’ll make sure I supply here with an ultra-tasty, supercharged smoothie to send her on her way to face another busy day without a stop off at McDonalds!

Look out for an awesome giveaway coming up in the following weeks and we’d love it if you shared this post to help other mums in the same boat.

Bren x

Jen’s mission is to assist mums in reclaiming their health and confidence through exercsie, no matter what stage of motherhood they are at.

Her  programs cater for women who are at the pre-natal and post-natal stages,  and also for mums who are ready to take it a step further. These are her “Tough Mums” !

I hope you enjoy getting to know Jen and learning about the work that she does as much as I did

Tell us a little about yourself

I am proud mum to Marley (5) and India (3) and I am married to Ben, who is a Gaffer in the film industry. I’m a Personal Trainer and I run a business that has developed specialist exercise programs for mums.

Under my personal brand umbrella sit’s my three programs; Body Before Baby, Body Beyond Baby and Tough Mums.

I am also a keen obstacle racer and have had some great results recently with placing’s at Tough Bloke Challenge, Urbanathlon and the Spartan Race. I’m currently training as part of the first Australian team selected for the Spartan World Championships in Vermont in September.

I have also just published my first book “How to Love your Body as much as your Baby”.

Tell us about your business and what it’s about?

My business is almost 5 years old – it was ‘born’ when my son, Marley was 3months old and has grown from one program and just a couple of sessions a week to what it is today.

Our programs offer the complete solution from pregnancy, through the postnatal period and way beyond that.

What makes us unique is that I am a mum, all of our trainers are mums and we only work with mums. We’ve helped hundreds of women achieve their best ever body and really find what it means to be themselves again after having a baby.

Our Body Before Baby classes help to prepare new mums for what may possible be the most physically demanding job they have ever done, in the most deconditioned state they have ever been in. Remaining strong through this time and knowing what exercise is safe and effective is very important.

We provide nannies at all of our Body Beyond Baby sessions to really help mum to take some time out after having her baby. We equip her with the best postnatal exercises for rebuilding from the inside out and flattening her tummy again.

And our Tough Mum training sessions really push to the next level. We train for an action packed schedule of obstacle races and team runs – by this stage many of our mums are stronger and fitter than they have ever been!

What are some of the things you value most in life?

I value the health and wellbeing of my family and myself. We are so lucky to lead healthy lives and I believe we should nurture and look after our body so it is able to help us do and achieve everything we want to.

I value close family, friendships and support systems; in a world where many of us live far away from our extended family, forming a group of key people around you that will support you in different areas of life is important.

I also value alone or ‘me’ time – as we grow older we become more comfortable with ourselves and taking the time to just be, and to accept yourself for who you are is very important. Then the sooner we can pass this quality onto our children the better!

What is your favourite quote?

“Make it Happen”  – short and sweet but I believe everyone has the power to create their own destiny.

What are your tips to staying happy and healthy?

My top tips to staying happy and healthy:

• Take regular time out for yourself – many mums put themselves at the bottom of the list after having children. I believe it is vital to take time out to nurture yourself, then you can be the best mum you can be.  A tired grumpy mum makes grumpy children.
• Move every day – human beings were designed to move and energy creates energy.
• Eat clean 90% of the time – there is always room for a little indulgence but it should be now and then not part of your daily routine.
• Pass on what you know – I believe that mums can change the health and wellbeing of their whole family and we have a responsibility to teach our children great habits.
• Know your purpose – there’s nothing more powerful than knowing what you are here for and what you want to achieve in life. Knowing and connecting to your ‘why’ makes everything you do in life more meaningful. Whether this relates to being the best mum you can be for your children, pushing through your fitness goals or taking the next step in business.

Do you find time to nurture yourself? What does this involve?

I am very selfish with my training time – it just has to happen and it is locked into my schedule everyday.

I also try to take moments to check in with my week. If I am feeling overwhelmed or that I have too much on my plate I am becoming very good at taking things out. I will cancel a meeting that isn’t absolutely necessary on that day and take a little time to work through whatever I’m feeling.

I think checking in with yourself regularly is important. Whether it’s in life at home with children or in business taking a moment to think about how you are feeling, connecting with it and then figuring out how that will effect your decision making and reactions at that time is important.  It is very easy to charge through life and disregard your personal feelings just to get things done. I am learning to respect myself and my needs more and STILL get things done.

What does healthy eating mean for you?

I’m one of those boring people who eats for fuel rather than for enjoyment. Of course I love a great meal at a great restaurant with my husband or friends but it’s not essential for me to cook elaborate meals every evening.

Healthy eating is about eating clean, unprocessed, fresh food wherever possible.

What are 5 of your kitchen pantry essentials?

Although healthy eating is really important to me I am not a massive cook so the most important items for me enable me to make simple, quick and healthy meals. My top 5 essentials; almonds, tins of tuna, coconut water, salad and chicken.

What do you indulge in?

I am an all or nothing girl – chocolate is my weakness, if it’s in the house it won’t last long!

What do you and your family like to do on the weekend?

Sunday is generally our family day. I like to take the children out to experience things and go places with them but it doesn’t have to be fancy; having breakfast at a café, going to the beach or the park and seeing them playing is great. India and I spent time just sitting watching the ocean and chatting last weekend which was really nice – the most important thing is taking time out to really ‘be’ with them.

Would you like to share one of your favourite healthy recipes?

I’m all about healthy kids snacks. I don’t believe in giving my children sugar so I am often coming up with inventive ways of giving them treat foods but making sure they are good for them:
Healthy Iceblocks

• 1 Banana
• 1 can coconut water (I love Nakula)
• 10 strawberries

blend

pour the blended mixture into the mould and then add the chopped strawberries

Freeze and enjoy!

Here are all the different ways you can connect with Jen

www.facebook.com/ToughMums

www.facebook.com/bodybeyondbaby

https://www.facebook.com/jen.dugard

Instagram @JenDugard

Twitter @JenDugard

Youtube @JenDugard

www.jendugard.com

Melissa Ambrosini is a young, inspirational and kick-ass Holistic Health & Life Coach who has recently launched a successful e-book 12 Steps to Wellness complete with fantastic tips on how to lead a beautiful, nourished life.

Lately, I’ve become aware of lots of girls around me suddenly turning into teenagers and starting high school, changing friends, wearing make-up and shopping for cool clothes. I think Melissa is a great and aspirational role model for these girls, so I thought I’d do a quick interview with her to get some quick tips on how to handle some challenges these girls may face.

Tell me about yourself and your business. What made you start it, and what are its objectives?

My name is Melissa and I am a holistic health + life coach, speaker, writer, and self-love teacher. Four years ago, I was a model, dancer, presenter, and actress. But, after experiencing severe burnout and a cocktail of health issues, I realized that something had to shift. This led me to weeks in hospital where I decided I wanted to cure myself of adrenal fatigue and thyroid problems. Consequently, I became fascinated with holistic health. After practicing as a holistic health coach for a while, I realised that it’s not only about what you put in your mouth, it’s about the thoughts you think, moment-to-moment. I believe these go hand in hand. I want to inspire people to take back control of their health and life and live the life they have always dreamt of.

Given teenage years are a very important period for development and discovery, what would be your Top 7 health & lifestyle tips for teenagers?

• Don’t compare yourself to others. Remember: You are perfect exactly the way you are.
• Nourish your body with fresh, whole foods, green juice, filtered water, and clean food.
• Get active. But, make it fun. Take up a sport you enjoy with your friends. Move your body every day.
• Get loads of sleep and make it a priority.
• Practice self-love and self-acceptance.
• Be yourself.
• Play and have fun.

How important is a wholesome, healthy diet for teenagers in particular?

A wholesome, healthy diet is extremely important! Teen years are  when the hormones are going a little crazy so we need to make sure teenagers are really nourishing their bodies with clean food and lots of sleep.

What are your friendship tips for teenagers?

Don’t compare yourself to your friends. Just be you! Don’t be jealous or judgmental. Be happy for your friends and love them with all your heart.

In your opinion, are there things that teenage girls should avoid doing and thinking?

Avoid comparing yourself to others. This can lead to all sorts of silly decisions when you start comparing.

Teenage girls are at an age where they start to experiment with make-up. What is your point of view on commercial beauty products versus alternative?

I believe it’s our job to educate these beautiful young girls about why organic and natural skincare products are so important. If they don’t understand, they aren’t going to make the right choices. In saying that, I would really encourage these beautiful girls to let their real beauty shine and help them realise real beauty comes from within. It isn’t all about the makeup and clothes they wear.

What do you value most in life?

Living from my heart is what I value most in life.

Do you have any personal indulgences?

I love getting a massage, a mani, and a pedi. I also love making (and eating) my raw cacao bliss balls. Here’s the recipe http://pathtowellness.com.au/cacao-balls/

We love your style. What are your wardrobe staples and favourites?

Thank you that’s very sweet. I have a good pair of boyfriend jeans that you can dress up or down + loads of white, grey, and black  tees and singlets which go with everything.

Would you like to share your favourite healthy recipe?

I have so many favourite recipes. But, for a treat or dessert, I love making these raw chocolate cherry brownies http://pathtowellness.com.au/raw-chocolate-cherry-brownie/.

This protein power salad is great for lunch or dinner http://pathtowellness.com.au/protein-power-salad/.

Both these recipes are jam packed with superfoods, vitamins, and minerals + they taste delicious!

I am a fully qualified holistic health and life coach. I received my training from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. I was trained in over one hundred dietary theories and studied a variety of practical lifestyle coaching methods.

Drawing on this knowledge, I will help you create a completely personalised Path to Wellness that suits your unique body, lifestyle, preferences, and goals.

Connect with Melissa:

Website

Facebook

Twitter

Healthtalks TV

Pinterest

Instagram