The reality is, kids need to feel connected, to feel part of a group, to feel loved. But it doesn’t always work out this way. We assume friendship comes naturally to kids. But it isn’t always the case.

Studies show that children who have friends are more likely to be self-confident and perform better academically at school than those without friends. It’s also a determining factor in the future happiness of our children. When children have difficulty making friends or keeping them, it often leads to feelings of loneliness and unhappiness. Regular rejection isn’t easy. Just ask any actor!

Teaching my kids about friendship has sometimes been painful for me. Things haven’t always gone smoothly for them, and they have often felt lost and empty. It can break a parent’s heart.

It’s very confusing for children who try to figure out why they aren’t fitting in. And as a parent it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to find the answer, but from experience, you can search till the cows come home, but there may not be any concrete reasons.

So what can we do as parents when our children asks us:

What have I done so that others don’t like me?
Why does ‘so and so’ always get up and move when I sit next them?
Why am I always picked last for the team?
Why aren’t I invited over to anyone’s place?

These can be tough questions to answer but guiding our children on some skills like empathy, problem-solving, negotiating, cooperation and communication can definitely help them socially, but I believe it’s important not to focus on what they may be “doing wrong” but rather guide them towards believing in themselves and celebrating who they are. Help them to understand the differences which exist between all humans and that while everyone wants to “fit”, sometimes it can take time to find even one true friend.

Let your children know that the world is full of thousands of people and that one day they will find a friend who-

• loves them for who they are
• connects with their soul
• brings out the best in them
• unconditionally accepts them for who they are
• laughs at all their jokes (good and bad!)
• forgives them when they let them down
• shares their dreams and beliefs
• sticks up for them
• trusts them with their secrets and feelings
• makes them feel like an equal
• and loves being around the light that they shine out into the world and which they should never, ever try to dim as thats what makes them special,wonderful and loveable

I am personally blessed with some of the best friends a girl could have.  No matter how much time passes, or how infrequently we get to connect in this busy life, whatever I may be going through, they make me feel special, important, always welcome, and always loved. These same relationships have their highs and lows and can be painful at times, that’s life, but ultimately they are steadfast and true.

I take faith in knowing that one day this will happen for my kids too.

Have your children had issues with fitting in? How have you chosen to address it? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Bren x

Dijanna from Wardrobe 101 was sent on a journey to unlock some of the dark secrets of my wardrobe with the only half tongue-in-cheek warning that there might be more work in there than she bargained for. It was as much a search-and-destroy mission as it was a mercy dash to search-and-accessorise! It’s not that bad, really, but many of my clothes had ceased being an inspiration, and that needed to change. Or the clothes had to! The equation was pretty clear.

Sure enough, when I returned not five minutes later, it was to a heap of clothes that resembled the detritus of the fashion world and the early stages of a bonfire much more than it did a well-maintained treasure. So I guess I didn’t disappoint her .. or maybe I did!

In any case, after explaining why these clothes were headed to the great clothes rack in the sky (which you can see in the video), she softened the blow with some kind words for a cropped black jacket which had survived the cull due to its versatility. Dijanna showed me three easy and gorgeous ways to style it that will see me off to a casual lunch with girlfriends, a more formal meeting with a corporate client, or a movie opening at the Verona.

You can check the outfits out below, but in the meantime, see what was ditched and why.

While Dijanna was working her magic, I had snuck into the kitchen to whizz her up Quirky Cooking’s ‘My Favourite Green Smoothie’. It’s actually my second favourite smoothie, beaten to the no.1 ranking by the Coconut Chai Green Smoothie from her new cookbook (which is one of the prizes in this big giveaway!). It’s a great breakfast option for Dijanna and her family (and quick!), and I’m hoping she will add it into her growing repetoire of nourishing, yet snappy family meals.

Here’s how to make this delicious green smoothie…

GIVEAWAY (This giveaway is closed and winner has been contacted)

I’ve decided to run a fantastic giveaway which includes five amazing prizes valued at over $400!!! Entry details below.

Food versus fashion giveaway includes:

<1 x Wardrobe 101 sustainable eco-friendly T-shirt, making it easier to make smart fashion choices without compromising the planet. It is 100% organic. Value $145.

1 x Chasing Issy one off necklace. Value $120.

1 x Quirky Cooking cookbook that contains over 130 healthy, mouth-watering recipes catering to a broad spectrum of specialist diets. Value $50.

1 x case of Natural Raw C coconut water. Low in sugar and super delish. Value $40

1 x copy of Wardrobe 101, a go-to manual to create your perfect core wardrobe.  Value $34.95

3 simple steps to enter for your chance to win all these prizes:

Firstly like the Facebook pages of:

Wardrobe 101
Chasing Issy
Quirky Cooking
Natural Raw C 
Brenda Janschek Health and Lifestyle

And then sign up to my free newsletter here.

Finally, leave a comment in this blog telling me which cropped jacket outfit  is your favourite (1, 2 or 3) and why.

Terms and conditions:

* This giveaway runs until midnight, 6th of August 2014.
* The winner will be chosen randomly.
* This competition is open to Australian residents only.
* The winner will be announced by email.

Best of luck everyone!

Bren x

PS: Did anyone notice I’m wearing the same shoes and bag in each picture. She’s a clever gal that Dijanna!

As a mumpreneur, my focus had shifted to more immediately necessary  things – raising my family, preparing meals, after school activities and events, creating and building my business. You know how it goes. I used to love fashion, my clothes, and getting dressed for the day. When did it get so hard? Where did that girl go? I miss her.

It was time to call in the expert. Lucky for me my bestie is Dijanna Mulhearn from Wardrobe 101. She is no stranger to my frenzied texts the night before an event desperately seeking styling advice. So we struck a deal: in exchange for her fashion education, Dijanna asked me to show her the easy way to good health through food.

It struck me that if Dijanna and I were having this food/fashion struggle, then possibly you might be too. And when I asked you the question on Facebook, it your replies confirmed my suspicion. It seems to be a universal issue.

So this post is the first in a fun series exploring some easy fashion and food fixes, and allows us to remember that it’s healthy to indulge in a bit of self care and self love.

Click on the video as we set up our challenge – Dijanna shares a quick fashion tip and gets a taste of a delicious quick snack for her efforts. (We’ll work on video length and blurriness factor for the next ones!)

You can find the full recipe for Brenda’s Brekky Ball here

Dijanna’s fussy eater 7yr old not only loved Brenda’s Brekky Ball, but shared some with his mates who have sent an order through for some more 🙂

What are your fashion/food woes? We’d love to hear from you and address your stresses!

In the next installment of Food versus Fashion, Dijanna finds a little gem in my wardrobe and proceeds to show me how easy it is to create three different looks with this single piece. And I’ll make sure I supply here with an ultra-tasty, supercharged smoothie to send her on her way to face another busy day without a stop off at McDonalds!

Look out for an awesome giveaway coming up in the following weeks and we’d love it if you shared this post to help other mums in the same boat.

Bren x

This month it is very much the opposite – a celebration of the many benefits of community, social connection and friendship, something we naturally crave as human beings, and which I try to encourage my kids to seek out. And I’ll tell you now, it’s far more satisfying and uplifting than any game of Minecraft will ever be. In fact, research shows that the networks and bonds established during childhood are a significant marker for adult happiness.

We were fortunate enough to attend the State Surf Life Saving Carnival at Umina over the turn of the month, and while the weather wasn’t exactly inspiring, the spirit in our small group of Coogee Under 8 girls was nothing short of amazing. Juxtaposed against the dark clouds and driving rain enveloping the bay, their tenacity, thrill for competition, sportsmanship and comaraderie stood out like a beacon. Their perpetually smiling faces were a poignant example of living in the moment, and don’t we all need a subtle reminder sometimes!

Friendships forged over the summer months at Coogee Nippers meant the girls were more than comfortable in each others’s company. So when they weren’t competing or excitedly cheering on their team mates, they were building sand castles, frolicking about in the water, mucking around and creating lasting memories.

The warmth that we as parents felt inside as a result of their obvious joy was also matched by the pleasure of seeing them adopt a sole representative from Clovelly as one of their own, no questions asked.

Above all, we spent a long weekend bonding with a great bunch of parents, watching the tireless and unflappable Age Managers beam with pride as their little relay team lifted a Gold Medal, and marvelling at the girls’ innocence as they wondered what all the fuss was about. In fact, the highlight for them was buying matching fluffy hooded towel dresses and getting a french plait done by one of the mums in between races!

Now that is living.

Bren x

Tell us a little about yourself.

 I am a very proud mum (foremost) to Bella-angel (6) and Phoenix (2), founder of successful fashion label Otto Mode and have 10 years’ experience in sales, manufacturing, import and export of both local and international fashion. I am completing a Masters of Project Management at UTS, an aspiring athlete,  an ambassador for the Red Cross Blood Centre and the Heart Foundation, Founder of Micro Miracles Matter – a platform created with the intention to aid causes I believe in by spreading awareness, educating people on the power of positive thinking, acts of kindness and the rewards of a healthy balanced life.

Always striving towards having a holistic work-life balance incorporating health and wellness is the foundation for all I do. Career driven I have worked my way through the ranks of the scuba diving industry as a dive master, the T.V and media sector of the advertising industry and an extensive love affair with the rag trade. Combined with an athletic drive that started in school with track and field, state netball, competitive surfing then later in life boot camp, interval training and to now becoming an Ultra-marathon runner.

Most recently I have embarked on a new career role in public relations and new business development in events.

Nutrition and optimal health are always at the forefront of priorities, the love for my children and passion to inspire others to be the best version of them motivates me to stay focused and lead by example.

Tell us why you created “Mirco Miracles Matter” and what it’s about? 

They say timing is everything. For me it’s time to start giving back wherever I can. That is, use my resources to pay homage to causes that have touched my life, and to pursue my acts of kindness on a greater scale toward those less fortunate.

Micro Miracles Matter is an organic extension of myself and has been created as a platform where I can add a greater purpose to some of the wonderful things that I do in my life and to encourage everyone to become more conscious of the small ways in which they can contribute, thus making a huge difference in someone else’s life.

I have been forever inspired by the miraculous fight and survival of Bella-angel, then the incredibly divine experience of going on to have a near term, healthy second baby in 2010 and finally, last year, going through one of the most confronting chapters of my adult life.

I have become aware of the destructive effect of fear, the damaging effect of inaction, the  transformative power of action, the necessity for purpose and that when united we can make a difference; micro miracles matter.

Through my running and the Micro Miracles Matter platform my intention is to aid causes I believe in, spread awareness, educate those around me on the power of positive thinking and acts of kindness, the rewards of a balanced healthy life, believing in oneself, the joys of giving and the difference we can make together.

This year mmm  is all about spreading the word on the need for blood donors and heart disease awareness. I have just completed my first 100km ultra marathon. My purpose for the run was to raise awareness for the need of blood donors. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgmO6NzJC78. The race was amazing, the determination to never give in to the pain was fuelled by the love for my children, the desire to be the best I can be and in doing so inspire others.

What are you passionate about?

Everything!!

Life, positivity, health, nutrition, fitness, my family, friends, food, wine, travel, adventure, the outdoors, kindness, truth and dreaming.

What are some of the things you value most in life?

Time, my children, freedom, friendships, choice, sunshine, living close to the ocean, living in Sydney, daily exercise, quality food, clean water, travel, education.

What is your favourite quote?

As you think, so you are. As you imagine, so you become.

What are your tips to staying happy and healthy?

Be positive, make it a way of life. Find what you love and do it. Add purpose to all you do. Stay consistent, persistent and dream big.

Do you find time to nurture yourself? What does this involve?

I make time. It involves doing what I love and what makes me happy, such as running, reading, writing, creating, rejuvenating my body with massages, yoga, meditation and time alone.

As a single mum of 2 this requires good time management, giving myself the gift to continually evolve and learn, knowing when to be selfless and selfish and staying true to myself regardless of the cost.

What does healthy eating mean for you?

Everything!! I see food and what you fuel your body with as an investment. Investing in your livelihood, your future, how you will function 10, 20, 30 , 40, 50, 60 or more years from now.

Like most things in life, health and wellness are a choice, but most importantly they are a way of life. When you find what works for you and what aids your being to be the best you can be the choice is not difficult. The secret is to make it a way of life, integrating health and wellness into all areas of your world.

Having an abundance of energy, positivity, health and fitness flows into all areas of your life and enables you to thrive in all that you do.

What are 5 of your kitchen pantry essentials?

Only 5….mmm Chia, Chinese 5 spice, Coconut oil, Sunwarrior Protein Powder, activated, raw or roasted mixed nuts

What do you indulge in?

Me time, exercise, super foods, fine wine, organic coffee and fun 😉

What do you and your kids like to do on the weekend?

Go on adventures, rock climbing,, swimming in the pool or at the beach, scootering, cooking, arts and crafts.

Would you like to share one of your favourite healthy recipes?

I have so many! I am, and always have been, a foodie and health junkie! To keep it simple let’s go with my latest healthy recipe discovery that is a hit with my children, has converted my view on ‘pancakes’ and got me through a 42km run – mmm super almond meal and coconut pancakes!

The recipe and nutritional break down is posted on my site under mmm recommendations, mmm recipes.

mmm super pancakes discovery

Ingredients

• 1/2 large ripe banana

• 2 egg whites

• 25 gm almond meal

• 2 5gm desiccated coconut

• 1/2 tsp of vanilla essence or if you can ground fresh vanilla bean pod

• 1/2 tsp of baking powder (gluten free)

• Coconut oil for cooking

• 1/2 tsp cinnamon -or if you are like me to taste…I love spice you can even use all spice another fave of mine.

To Top

Serve with frozen mixed berries that you have defrosted so get the treat of berry juice accompanying the berries, a dash of agave syrup for those of you who have a sweet tooth and a dollop of your favourite yoghurt combined with 2 teaspoons of Sunwarrior protein powder

YUM!!!!

• Mixed frozen berries defrosted

• Agave Syrup

• Yoghurt (I love Jalna Vanilla)

• Sunwarrior protein powder choc or vanilla

Method

1. Mash the banana into the egg whites

2. Add the spices and dry ingredients mix to form a batter

3. Pre heat the fry pan on a medium – low heat  with coconut oil

4. Add spoonfuls of the mixture to the  pan forming pancake size to your liking, when you see bubbles surfacing turn over

5. Cook the second side untill golden

6. In a seperate bowl combine Sunwarrior protein powder and yoghurt

7. To serve place pancakes on a plate and top with desired toppings!

You can connect with Kerrie through  her website

www.micromiraclesmatter.com

or on her  Facebook Page

I recently had lunch with a couple of my besties, Dijanna Mulhearn, director of Wardrobe 101, and Dena Danis, designer for fashion label Constantina and Louise.

The three of us over-40 mums were desperately trying to find the answer to perfect balance, and wondering why on earth we had chosen the relentless slog & risk of entrepreneurship?

Hadn’t we all felt satisfied and fulfilled in our roles as mums and homemakers?

We agreed that running our own business’ left us feeling stressed out, flat out, crazy, insanely imbalanced, and much had been sacrificed in the form of family, self-care, friendships and downtime.

Why then?

The answer came quickly that day as we came to the excited realisation that we do what we do because we feel compelled to do it. Each of us is answering our individual calling, what we feel to be a divine purpose that embodies us and spurs us on.

As theologian Frederick Beuchner is quoted as saying, “True vocation joins self and service.” He defines vocation as “the place where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.”

And, strangely, it feels like we are going with the flow…..the flow of what life wants us to do.

So having a calling doesn’t mean it’s easy to follow. And who knows if we’ve chosen the right expression for our calling?  We all trust, however, that we will ultimately be led there.

Perhaps the confusion my friends and I are feeling is because the pendulum has swung with too much force in this different direction?

And as we realise that honouring our calling also means being clear about our core values, we are starting to feel the pendulum slowly swing back to equilibrium.

For me, that means back to my family, integrity, connection, to gratitude, communication, health, friendship and peace.

Do you have a calling? I’d love to hear what it is.

Bren x