Why I’m learning to be ‘in the moment’.
What was I thinking starting a business while still studying & caring for my family? I mean, it’s not like my growing kids don’t have overscheduled timetables or anything! Add the usual home duties to their homework and other demands, and you get my drift.
Adding study to the mix only made it trickier. But then I had to go and start my own business! Over committed much? Trying to find the balance just made matters worse.
My crowning glory has always been being a mum to my 2 beautiful children, but guilt had crept in for the first time. Missing occasions like award ceremonies and readings at assemblies, even taking them to their activities or walking them to school became an issue, and their behaviour did suffer. Fortunately(?) my hubby had been thoughtfully relieved of employment for a while and was able to pick up the slack. Who says global companies don’t care …
The Christmas school holidays was a particularly busy time establishing my business. My children would ask me why I didn’t spend time with them anymore, or tearfully express that they wished I had never started my business at all. Change can be hard for all involved. Big time guilt.
I expressed my woes to a friend who has experienced juggling a similar situation for a lot longer than me. She simply said “Well, that’s just life”. Straight to the point, and it made me really think. If she can accept it with all its ups and downs and not continually fight it, is there an intuitive lesson there?
Soon enough, hubby started working again which reintroduced load sharing and time pressure. Although feeling confronted, a little desperate, out of control and sometimes defeated, I could hear my inner-voice a little more clearly. Slowly I began to glimpse the important lesson that was waiting for me. And what a reward and revelation it was to be!
My lesson was simple. Not groundbreaking or surprising, but incredibly powerful for me. My lesson has been to learn how to COMPLETELY BE IN THE MOMENT, even if it’s just for a moment. To breathe deeply when there is nothing I can do to change a situation. Accept the moment, embrace it, enjoy it, and experience it with my entire being and not worry about anything else.
Being mindful of this message from within has made life richer, more heartfelt and more meaningful. Feeling grounded, calmer and connected is better than being like a sea-faring tornado.
For now, my quest towards finding balance is on hold, and instead I’ll keep up the practise of learning to embrace the moment, and block out the noise. Perhaps my choice to overload myself was a subconscious one that led the way to this breakthrough. I know I have a long way to go and a lot of practise to do, but my lesson starts with my little darlings as I gaze deeply into their eyes while they tell me stories of their day.
Have a soulful day.