Sometimes Birthdays Can Suck

Each year I tell myself not to have any expectations on my birthday, but each year I can’t help but hope that my birthday will be just a tad more special than any other average day.

When I got up this morning, my husband had already left for work.

The dishes were still sitting in the dishwasher.

The clothes in the washing basket hadn’t folded themselves.

None of the overflowing bins had been emptied.

The kids weren’t offering to help me with the morning chores.

And I could deal with all that.

Until my son gave me some lip .. which saw me walking off and sulking to the other room.

Birthday, schmurfday.

My daughter came in to check if I was all right and give me a hug and a kiss.

While I was walking her to school I received a text from my son ” Have a good birthday”.

I mentioned to me daughter ” He could have said I’m sorry”

She said: “Maybe that was his way of saying sorry”

Wise, comforting, beautiful words from my 10yr old girl, which filled my heart with love.

Words which turned out to be best birthday gift I could receive.

Words which made me know that I was doing ok at raising emphatic, kind, thoughtful children. They are far from perfect, trust me, but it’s times like these when you see glimpses of the beauty that lies within them and a reflection of the things you are getting right.

Birthday’s always make me introspective. Make me stop and observe where I’m at, where I’m headed, exactly who I am. 

My daughter’s words showed me the type of mother I am. Showed me what is most important to me in life. It’s not something I can honestly say I had contemplated before.

See, when it comes to parenting, I don’t focus the kids on what they will do in the future, or who they will be. For me, success is not defined by working hard to ‘get the right job’ and make a lot of money…

Emotional intelligence is where it’s at for me. Success is defined by kindness, empathy, sensitivity. All the while remembering and accepting that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes. We’re all doing our best. What’s important is it learn from those mistakes. Remembering also, that no two people are the same and it’s important to leave room for that. This is the message I am instilling in my kids.

“Have a good birthday” – was my son’s way of saying sorry. I wasn’t in a place to see it that way. My daughter saw things from both sides, that moment of empathy helped me through and made my day.

So that’s enough contemplation for one day. It’s time for me to jig work and treat myself to an hour long relaxing facial. 

The day is turning out perfectly after all.

Bren x